100 Books - 70-66

70: Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke. This was, as I said in my old blog last year, one of the most interesting reading experiences I've had in quite a while. Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell was a really damned hard book to read. The first 80 pages or so were s l o w and seemed to be going nowhere fast. I was just about to give up on the thing when it began to interest me. For the next few weeks, I'd read just enough to keep my interest piqued, and finally in the last week I devoured the final 300 pages and really enjoyed the experience.
What's to like? Well, it's about British magicians in the early 19th century, fighing Napoleon while trying to reestablish "English magic," which apparently rose out of the north in the Dark Ages at the coming of John Uskglass, the Raven King. Gilbert Norrell is almost more of a magical archivist than magician - his two residences hold a library of over 5,000 books of magic, which he guards zealously. Jonathan Strange, his young protege, is of course impetuous and frustrated with Norrell's reluctance to step outside of his library to do magic in the real world.
There were several things I really enjoyed in Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell. First, Clarke's writing is polished and very, very descriptive. One can feel the chill of English rain and winter in her writing, and there's a decidedly Poe-ish feel to much of the novel, which I very much appreciated. Secondly, the characters are varied and human - they are neither flawless nor irredeemable. Third, Clarke mixes fiction with history in such a way as to make me wish I knew more about the actual history with which the plot is interacting. Finally, the ending is unresolved: this is no fairy tale, though much of it does deal with fairies. I recommended it before, and I suppose I still recommend it today.

69: Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping by Judith Levine. I really enjoyed this book. I'd heard about it last Christmas season and had been waiting to get it from our local library for some months. Matter of fact, when they called to let me know it was in I couldn't remember even ordering it! Be that as it may, it was a great, thought-provoking read. Premise: the author and her husband decide to spend one calendar year buying only essentials, and by that they mean ESSENTIALS, even down to questioning whether community theater is a luxury or community item. They question their own preconceptions of consumerism and materialism, but they also question the industry that's grown around reducing the impact of industry (yes, you read that correctly). It's not a knee-jerk liberal screed against the mean and nasty materialist Republicans, nor is it an exercise in apologetics for the granola crowd - just a good book about a social experiment that goes farther than the author figured it would go. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

68: Reallivepreacher.com by Gordon Atkinson. My friend Matt let me borrow his copy of Gordon's excellent book. I was surprised to note how many of the stories I'd already read as a regular visitor to Gordon's blog - but I was also surprised by the deep impact of those stories I hadn't read. Gordon's got a real gift for writing, and I'm proud to call him a brother in Christ and a fellow preacher - not bad for a Lutheran from Minnesota and a Baptist from Texas. You'll find a link to Real Live Preacher on the right - go visit!

67: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
66: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis
Of course, these old favorites were on my list thanks to the movie version of TLWW that Walden Media released last December (which I thoroughly enjoyed, btw). But it was nice to visit old friends. Dawn Treader has been my favorite in the series for years, probably because it's unlikely that I'll ever sail beyond sight of land, Nebraska boy that I am. The idea of sailing to the end of the world is, for me, much like Lewis describes it - the voyage which we can make only the once, and I'm not ready to make that voyage just yet. But that doesn't mean I'm not looking forward to the trip. TLWW is, as always, a classic, but as a friend noted, the movie was better in some ways because you get the idea of the terrible power of the White Witch, the despair of Mr. Tumnus at realizing his betrayal and his endangerment, and the determination of the Beavers and all the other allies of the Pevensie children. Of course, now that we are expecting our own little one, I'm dearly anticipating reading these beloved tales at bedtime in a few years. Can't wait!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

No, I don't mean chesnuts roasting on an open fire or anything silly like that. I mean it's the start of the college football season and that just ROCKS.

I was an absolute glutton on Saturday. Up at 6 to get my run in before GameDay started. Made eggs & biscuits because I can't get to a Burger King for my normal game day meal (don't ask). GameDay started at 9am. Then it was Michigan-Vandy and the rest of the day in front of the tube watching young men beat the crap out of each other all day, right up until the end of the Oklahoma-UAB game. Woulda stayed up for the end of Georgia Tech-Notre Dame, but since yesterday was my one day to work this week, I figured I'd better be well rested. :-)

Of course, the highlight of the day was watching my beloved Huskers play Louisiana Tech and win 49-10. A good game, especially considering it's week 1 and year 3 of the Mid-West Coast revolution in Lincoln. Zac Taylor is an absolute stud - great arm, great poise, he even scrambled for positive yardage at one point. RB by committee might be a definite advantage against USC in two weeks, provided we have the same kind of offensive balance that we did Saturday. Defense needs some work; pass rush wasn't great, and we're down to duct tape & baling wire in the secondary. "My kingdom for a shut-down cornerback!"

We also got our Quack on for the Ducks - nice to see Oregon open their Pac-10 schedule with a win. Hopefully we'll be able to catch the Oregon-OU game in two weeks also. We won't be watching much FB this weekend, as I'm limping through the Dick Beardsley Half Marathon in Detroit Lakes. More on that later.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE college football - the next four months are like Christmas every weekend for me. Woo-hoo!

Sermon for 3 September 2006: "Changing Diapers, Changing Hearts"

Preaching Text: Mark 7.1-23

There’s a Jewish fable that goes something like this: “A young man once came to a great rabbi and asked him to make him a rabbi. It was winter time then. The rabbi stood at the window looking out upon the yard while the rabbinical candidate was droning into his ears a glowing account of his piety and learning.

The young man said, "You see, Rabbi, I always go dressed in spotless white like the sages of old. I never drink any alcoholic beverages; only water ever passes my lips. Also, I live a plain and simple life. I have sharp-edged nails inside my shoes to mortify me. Even in the coldest weather, I lie naked in the snow to torment my flesh. Also daily, I receive forty lashes on my bare back to complete my perpetual penance."

And as the young man spoke, a white horse was led into the yard and to the water trough. It drank, and then it rolled in the snow, as horses sometimes do. "Just look!" cried the rabbi. "That animal, too, is dressed in white. It also drinks nothing but water, has nails in its shoes and rolls naked in the snow. Also, rest assured, it gets its daily ration of forty lashes on the rump from its master. Now, I ask you, is it a saint, or is it a horse?!"[1]

What we appear to be is not always what we are – and what appears to help or harm us often does neither. Let us pray: Father, you created this world, and what we do with your creation is sometimes wonderful, sometimes shameful. Help us to see clearly the dangers within ourselves before condemning or blessing the environment in which we live. Create in us clean hearts, merciful Father, and renew right spirits within us. In Jesus’ name we pray: Amen.

Most of you know that I took the Amtrak Empire Builder train from Fargo to Eugene for our trip to Eugene for my brother-in-law’s wedding. Traveling Amtrak by yourself is quite an experience, especially if you do it in the coach sections. I’ve never been much of a people watcher, but the characters I met on the Empire Builder almost demanded to be watched at times. I was fascinated, repulsed, annoyed, curious, shocked, and in the end, I looked around and wondered who are these people and how is it they share the same genes I do?

If you travel Amtrak and you’re not necessarily a people person, you want to make sure you’ve got a traveling partner, otherwise you’ll be sitting next to a complete stranger and wondering what world they live in. From Eugene to Seattle on my way home, I sat next to an anarchist business developer who launched into an anti-Bush spiel at the first opportunity, complete with questions about whether the Pentagon actually was hit and why we were still in Iraq. When he discovered I was a Lutheran pastor he told me how Christians are ruining America and how his kids had never set foot in a house of worship. When I agreed that some of the extreme right and left wing Christians were indeed doing more harm than good, he assured me that I obviously wasn’t as bad as most Christians. He delivered all of this with spectacularly bad breath.

From Spokane, WA to Whitefish, Montana I shared a seat with a retired bachelor farmer from a small town near Rugby, North Dakota. We had a delightful conversation, but it’s hard to feel comfortable sleeping that close to a complete stranger. Bachelor Farmer guy took the seats across the aisle when they opened up after Whitefish, but that afternoon we both got seatmates. Mine was an organic environmental student from Oregon who was spending his summer biking across the northern US. After fighting easterly headwinds across Montana for three days he was, shall we say, organic in every sense of the word, including his aroma.

Those were just my seatmates. I could spend hours telling you about the family whose women all had a Madonna complex, complete with fingerless gloves, or the guy who somehow managed to get drunk on $5 Heinekens, or the young mother with four kids who kept marching up and down the train with one kid in her arms, one holding her hand, and the oldest two leashed to her belt and complaining the whole way.

Somewhere in Eastern Montana I decided to take a look at this morning’s Scripture readings and get some reflection done. You can imagine my humbling experience when I realized what I’d been doing the entire time I’d been on the train. I had been offended by the commonness of these people, by their drunkenness, by their flaws and their indecency. I should have been worrying about myself. I should have been worried about my hypocrisy, my prejudice, my interior corruption and utter lack of respect for these children of God, flawed though they might be.

This is our struggle: to somehow come to grips with the fact that our surroundings and our dedication to keeping ourselves pure and spotless is not what makes us right in God’s eyes. In our Gospel reading today, Jesus goes right to the heart to explain the problem with humanity. “It is what comes out of a person that defiles. For it is from within, from the human heart, that evil intentions come: fornication, theft, murder, adultery, avarice, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, folly. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”[2]

What Jesus is saying is that we can’t save ourselves by avoiding what is unclean and outcast. In fact, trying to do so heaps even more sin upon our heads, because slander, pride, deceit and folly, which Jesus includes in his list of sins, all come from trying to pretend that certain things and certain people are evil and are to be avoided at all costs.

An example of how this works. We were in Eugene with Kristin’s family, including her 13 month-old nephew Quinn. As a favor to Quinn’s parents, Kristin took Quinn upstairs one night to put him to bed while the rest of us enjoyed a beer or two outside on the deck. After about 5 minutes we heard cries for “Help!” coming out of the baby’s bedroom. We dashed upstairs to find Kristin covered, head to toe, in most of Quinn’s supper, which he had just thrown up all over. After we got Kristin into the shower and her clothes into the washing machine, Quinn’s mother explained that Quinn’s esophageal sphincter isn’t quite developed yet, so he has no gag reflex to keep his food down if they feed him too much. So being covered in partially digested strawberries and carrots isn’t an unusual experience in their family.

Now, if remaining clean were the prime directive, how would this child ever learn to eat or drink? Quinn is who he is, and part of Kim & Jerry’s God-given vocation as parents is to be right in the middle of the mess. You cannot be a parent without being intimately familiar with all kinds of bodily secretions. But it’s not just a matter of surviving; God intends for the greatest love to be expressed, at times, in the most polluted environments. Martin Luther once said that changing a diaper was as much his vocation as preaching a sermon, and every bit as holy a calling. Here’s a wondrous thing: honoring God with our lips means nothing if we don’t honor each other with our hands and feet in service to each other. Jesus proved this when he knelt and washed the dirty feet of his disciples.

Compare this with our behavior when unpleasant or controversial things must be done. Last week Radio Shack fired 1,000 of their corporate employees by email. I don’t know what their motivations might have been, but don’t you think God would prefer us to have the compassion to downsize these people face to face at the very least? In the movie Office Space, two ‘efficiency experts’ claim that firing people on Friday is preferable because it give the fired person a weekend to calm down and reduces the likelihood of ugly ‘day-after’ episodes. The fact that we’ve discovered this and use it to deal with uncomfortable situations shows us how hard we work to avoid that which is unpleasant to us.

But here’s the primary dilemma: how do we deal with ourselves in these situations? According to Jesus, what is evil is what comes out of me, not what goes in me or what surrounds me. But I can only control what goes in me and what is around me – I cannot control what happens inside me. What, then, am I to do? When I cannot control my environment, and I cannot obtain my righteousness from what I eat and where I go, how am I supposed to become a righteous person? I can’t scoop out my guts and my heart and replace them with something different, can I?

No, I can’t – but the Father can. Here’s the unspoken promise in today’s Gospel reading: what is within us is beyond our control, but not beyond the control of God the Father and Jesus Christ his Son. So I should, therefore, pray to God, but not for protection from what is around me: I must pray for a change of what is within me. I must pray for a heart that is pure and clean before God – and for a spirit that is righteous because it is God’s spirit in me, regardless of where I go and what I must do. I must pray for a heart that sees others as God’s children, flawed as I am flawed but all the same God’s creation and my brothers and sisters in Christ – people I have the privilege to serve as Christ had the privilege to serve me in His life, death and resurrection.

Now we see that what is common and fleshy and secular doesn’t make us unholy any more than what is sacred makes us holy: it is God who makes things holy and God who allows us to be holy through the Holy Spirit. God’s law doesn’t set us above others – the law is given to keep us healthy in the midst of the world. The law is give to show the world how great God’s love is, that God should show us how to be healthy in a world that often is broken by its desire for unhealthy things. The law is given so that as we follow it, others may wonder who and what could inspire such loving service in a world that often forgets what it means to serve. Whether we are saints or whether we are horses, in all things we are God’s creation, made right through God’s gift of Jesus Christ and kept holy by the power of the Holy Spirit. Whether we’re changing diapers or changing the world, God’s concern is changing our hearts, and for that we say, “Thanks be to God.” Amen.

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[1] A Treasury of Jewish Folklore: Stories, Traditions, Legends, Humor, Wisdom and Folk Songs of the Jewish People. Edited by Nathan Ausubel. © 1948, Crown Publishers, Inc., New York. p. 109. My thanks to Brian Stoffregen for including this story in his exegetical notes. http://www.crossmarks.com/brian/brian.htm.

[2] Mark 7.20-23

Maynard Ferguson - RIP RFL

So I'm slowly but surely catching up on the blog world this week, along with everything else. Two weeks of vacation receipts to go through takes a lot of time.

In some sad news, one of my favorite musicians died last week. When I was in the band at the University of Nebraska, the marching band trumpets followed Maynard's philosophy: higher, faster, louder. His album "Chameleon" is a favorite on my list, just because of the excitement and passion of his playing. Now Maynard's leather lips don't blow any more, and that's a sad thing.

If you're looking for one quintessential Maynard piece, try "La Fiesta" from the Chameleon album. You won't be disappointed.

Sermon for 27 August 2006 - "Desperate Surrender"

While Kris and I were in Eugene for her brother's wedding, I had the privilege of preaching at my in-laws' church, Bethesda Lutheran Church, where my father-in-law is senior pastor. Here is the sermon from that day.

Preaching Text: John 6.56-69

“Alleluia! Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. Alleluia!”

For years you have sung this little line just prior to the reading of the Gospel on Sunday mornings. Look closely in your bulletins at John 6.68. Think of our Lutheran Book of Worship liturgy: which words are missing? Alleluia. You got it.

Peter had no Alleluia for Jesus that day near Capernaum. We have a hard time seeing what’s happening in John 6 because our lectionary divides it over several weeks of readings. So let’s summarize what’s happened to give you an idea for Peter’s resigned answer to Jesus’ question:

1. Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fish and five loaves of bread.
2. The crowd prepared to make Jesus their King, but Jesus escaped what they intended and hid in the mountains near Tiberias.
3. Unable to wait for Jesus any longer, his disciples tried to cross the Sea of Galilee during a storm, only to be terrified by the sight of Jesus walking on the water towards them.
4. The crowd followed Jesus to Capernaum, where he confronted them with the truth: they followed him only to see more miracles. But Jesus wanted to give them more than just miracles – he wanted to give them salvation.
5. Jesus identified himself as the Bread of Life, something even more powerful than the manna God had given to the Israelites in their wilderness wanderings in the days of Moses.
6. The crowd was offended when Jesus claimed that he was the Son of God – they remembered that he had grown up in Nazareth, the son of Joseph the carpenter and Mary his wife.

All of this comes as prologue to our Gospel reading for today. Today we read how Jesus further exasperated his followers. The crowd and the disciples were even more offended and challenged when Jesus said that only those who drew life from himself – only those who ate his flesh and drank his blood – would be given eternal life. Jesus reminded the crowd that even the people of Israel who ate the manna in the wilderness still died – but those who would follow Jesus and receive life from him would never die.

As one of Jesus’ other disciples put it, this was a difficult teaching. In Greek the disciples literally said “this is a hard word.” What Jesus said sounded unforgiving, confrontational, harsh – possibly cruel. It was a finger of words jabbing right into the heart and conscience of everyone who heard it. And some couldn’t handle it. Some of Jesus’ followers walked away from him that day in Capernaum. But we should note that those who left Jesus didn’t walk away from Jesus because he was crazy or obscene, even with all this talk about eating his flesh and drinking his blood. Those who left Jesus that day in Capernaum left because his words were too hard to hear. They didn’t leave Jesus because he was a nutcase – they left Jesus because his teachings made them too uncomfortable. As Jerry Goebel puts it, “What happened on this day was that the Gospel became suddenly, and radically, uncomfortable. Those who had been following Jesus to get bread, get fish, or even get a new political leader were confronted with a Gospel that wasn’t about ‘getting.” It was about giving…EVERYTHING!”[1

Can you imagine how quiet it must have been after everyone left Jesus in the synagogue in Capernaum that day? Thousands had been clamoring for Jesus to become their King, but once they all rejected Jesus because of his hard words, only the Twelve remained. This wasn’t one of those comfortable silences, either – this was a silence filled with apprehension, confusion, perhaps even a little fear. You wouldn’t think of offering an “Alleluia!” into a silence like that. Even “Amen!” wouldn’t do. I imagine the disciples who remained focused on their sandals and prayed to God in heaven above that Jesus wouldn’t say another word that day. I imagine that nobody knew what was going to happen next.

In the middle of all this sat Peter, with no “Alleluia” to offer. But what Peter did offer to Jesus was remarkable, because in Peter’s words God created something out of nothing. Jesus asked them, “Do you also wish to leave me?” Peter’s response? “Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."
Can you hear the despair in Peter’s response? When Jesus asked if they wanted to leave, was there an unspoken “YES!” demanding to be heard? I’m sure there was. Peter’s response to Jesus was not a declaration of faith – it was a desperate surrender to forces which were beyond Peter’s control. In Peter’s response there was an acknowledgment that if there were any other option, he and the disciples would take it and run. “Yes, Jesus – I want to leave. Yes, Jesus - you are giving us teachings that are more than we can bear. Yes, Jesus – you have spoken truth so painful that it is destroying us. But Lord, where else would we go?"

Many of you have probably seen the movie An Officer and a Gentleman. I'd like you to think of one particular scene to get an idea of what I’m describing. Richard Gere plays Zack Mayo, who is in training to become a Naval officer, but he’s being pushed to the limit by his drill instructor, Foley, played by Louis Gossett, Jr. During a weekend of punishment for violating barracks procedure and other training rules, Foley abuses Mayo with harsh words about himself and the life he's led. "You're no damn good!" JAB "Your father was an alcoholic and skirt-chaser!" JAB "Your mother was a whore!" JAB "You're not officer material!" JAB "No one here trusts you!" JAB "Why don't you just quit?" JAB Finally, when Mayo refuses to quit or break under the constant jabbing of Foley's abuse, Foley throws the last hard word at him: "I'm not going to let you finish this program, Mayo - you're out!"

That word was more than he could bear. In a stunning moment of desperation, Mayo screams "DON'T YOU DARE!!! I GOT NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!!!" And he crumbles into tears.
All that’s left is a desperate surrender and an admission that will change the course of his life. “I got nowhere else to go!” Can you hear the despair in his voice as he confronts the fact that this is it? That he’s reached the end of the line, the place where it’s this or nothing at all? If you can, then maybe you’ve known a bit of that desperate surrender yourself. Maybe you’ve been in Peter’s place, where desperate surrender is all that you’ve got left.

This is the uncomfortable truth that Jesus continues to reveal to us today: being a follower of Jesus Christ isn’t easy or rewarding or blessed. Sometimes, being a follower of Jesus Christ means listening to that jabbing finger of hard words that reveals the uncomfortable truth about your life. Sometimes being a follower of Jesus Christ means that it’s Christ or nothing at all. There’s nowhere else to go.

But Christ asks nothing of us which he has not already given himself. If you remember all the way back to the beginning of the sixth chapter of the gospel of John, it was Jesus himself who fed the 5,000. When Jesus says he alone is the bread of life, Jesus is making a promise to those who listen to his word: “If you feed on me, you will live.” Last week you heard Pastor Troy talk to you about living wisely. When Jesus confronts us with the uncomfortable truth that He alone is the bread of life, Jesus is also making a promise to us: nothing else gives life the way that He gives life.

As you practice your wise living, ask yourself: from where do I draw my life? If you draw your life from your possessions, from your vocation, from your family, from your spouse, or even from the bread that you eat, you are not living wisely. But when you are taken to that place of desperate surrender, where it’s Christ or nothing at all, you will see that no one else will give life like Jesus gives life. The desperate surrender of your life into his hands, after all, is the same surrender that Jesus gave to his Father in emptying his life on the cross for you. For Christ, it was the cross or nothing at all – and Christ chose the cross for you.

Peter and his companions were only just beginning to understand what it meant to follow Jesus when they came to this point of desperate surrender. I imagine it wasn’t the only time of desperate surrender for them, either. The world in which we live is filled with false promises of a good life through a million different ways. We, like the followers of Jesus, don’t always like to be reminded of our utter dependence on God’s mercy and grace for our life. It is a hard word to hear, a difficult teaching to understand. For years, we’ve believed that following Jesus meant escaping the world’s sorrow and pain. But now we are beginning to see the truth about following Jesus. We don’t follow Jesus to escape the world in which we live. When we follow Jesus, we follow knowing that the hard word of truth that sometimes comes our way is a word designed to bring us to a place where we desperately surrender to him, where it’s Christ or nothing at all, because only then can we begin to understand what salvation is all about. God isn’t interested in comforting you or helping you grow or rewarding your good behavior: God is determined to be your God, to be your source of life and your salvation, and if a desperate surrender is what it takes, then a desperate surrender is what it will be.

The author Kathleen Norris struggled with her faith for years before becoming one of the foremost American literary theologians of the past 20 years. In an audience once, she was asked how she could find comfort in a religion whose language does so much harm. She said, “I [don’t] think it was comfort I was seeking, or comfort that [I] found…As far as I’m concerned, this religion has saved my life, my husband’s life, and our marriage. So it’s not comfort that I’m talking about but salvation.”[2]

Now, in retrospect, we can add the Alleluia to Peter’s desperate surrender. Alleluia: Lord, to whom shall we go? Only you have the words of eternal life. Alleluia. Lord, you have brought us here to where it is you or nothing at all, where we surrender our lives into your hands as you once surrendered your life into your Father’s hands. Fill us with life. Feed us with your bread of life, that we may know eternal life, that we may know you and your Father through your Holy Spirit. And may your peace, which passes all our understanding and fills us even in our moments of desperate surrender, keep our hearts and minds in you, Christ Jesus, our Savior and Lord. Amen.

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[1] Goebel, Jerry. ONEFamily Outreach. http://onefamilyoutreach.com/bible/John/jn_06_59-69.html

[2] Norris, Kathleen. Amazing Grace: A Vocabulary of Faith. pp. 3-4

Baby & Vacation Update

It occurs to me that I haven't posted about Lumpy in a while. I promised to scan an ultrasound back in July when we had our last, but alas the scanner has disappeared from the church and I suspect we gave it to someone with greater need. So until we get a new digital ultrasound picture you'll have to be content with knowing that Lumpy is doing just fine. Heartbeat has been strong and steady at our last few appointments, if a bit hard to locate thanks to Kristin's active intestinal system. (Man, there's a LOT of noise down there!) But while Lumpy is growing and doing well, Kris is really struggling. Acid reflux, pinched nerves due to uncomfortable sleeping positions, stuffy nose, continuing mild nausea and being generally uber-hormonal makes Kristin a tired and sometimes unhappy girl. But she is such a great soldier - she takes it all in stride and puts her best face on things. I can't say enough how proud I am of my wife - and how THANKFUL I am that she is the one who's pregnant. If it were me we'd be done after one.

We're leaving for Oregon tomorrow night; Kris is driving to the Cities to fly out on Friday and I'm driving to Fargo to hop the Empire Builder train at 0dark30. Are we ever ready for a long trip just for us! With VBS and all the other stuff happening since we returned from the mission trip, it's hard to remember what frigging day it is. Life is very, very good, but we're ready to decompress for a week or two. I am excited to take the train; no pressure headaches, no long lines waiting to remove my shoes and be poked and prodded. 33 hours of sleep, reading and sermon prep - waaa hooo!

And that's the news from Barrett (apologies to my friend Nate, who stole that line from someone else).

100 Books - 75-71

Well, it's been a few weeks since a book post. I'm running out of books that I can remember without checking our bookshelves, so soon it'll be old Amazon.com reviews and other stuff to jog my memory. But this has been fun!

BTW, I'm not going to post my sermon from yesterday. It wasn't particularly good, it was far too personal for my taste, and frankly, I didn't put the time into preparation that it deserved. Best to chalk it up as a bad job and leave it at that.

75: Master and Commander by Patrick O'Brian I loved the movie starring Russell Crowe, and figured I'd enjoy the books about Lucky Jack Aubrey. I'm not sure what to think. On the one hand, I really enjoyed the story these books tell. On the other hand, it's so hard parsing the navalspeak and historical dialect that I'm not sure I got everything I was supposed to get. On the whole, I'm not sure if I'm too stupid to understand the story or if the author hit the historical fiction so well that all readers need to be familiar with Lord Nelson's Britain to read and understand. At any rate, Lucky Jack Aubrey meets a physician/scholar/spy named Stephen Maturin at a chamber recital, where Maturin elbows Jack for nearly dancing in time to the music. Thus begins their long friendship. But Jack is also desperate for a command and a promotion, but finds himself at odds with his superior officers and in debt, a bad combination for a naval officer in 1800s Britain.

74: Post Captain by Patrick O'Brian See above for commentary. Lucky Jack escapes prison in France and is given a promotion and a new command: a former secret weapon/experimental ship that no one else will commandeer. Jack's relationship with Maturin is tested and strengthened, though romance threatens to ruin all.

73: New Spring by Robert Jordan I'm currently reading through the entire Wheel of Time series, but New Spring was a prequel I'd never enjoyed until a few weeks ago. Whereas the Wheel of Time begins with the Aes Sedai Moiraine Damodred finding Rand al'Thor, the Dragon Reborn, New Spring tells the story of how Moiraine and Siuan Sanche, inseparable even during Aes Sedai training, are raised from Accepted to Aes Sedai. Moiraine meets and bonds her Warder, al'Lan Mandragoran, uncrowned King of Malkier, and they are set, unknowingly, on the path to find the Dragon Reborn.

72: The Unnecessary Pastor by Marva Dawn and Eugene Peterson Our conference read this book together last year, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Dawn reflects on the different calls in the pastoral vocation. Peterson uses the Pastoral Epistles to reflect on what it truly means to be a pastor of people. And they both come to some extraordinary conclusions, thoughtful and challenging to us and to our congregations.

71: Saint Julian by Walter Wangerin, Jr. A friend gave me this book as an ordination gift - he's Wangerin's nephew. I really appreciated the gift, but I'll be honest - I didn't care for this novel. Normally I've enjoyed Walt Wangerin's work. For certain his writing is better than much of what passes for literature in the Christian publishing game. (the problem isn't the Christianity - it's the literature, or lack thereof. See LaHaye, Tim and Peretti, Frank) But Saint Julian was SO prosaic that it became far too artistic - the literary equivalent of deeply rococo architecture, so decorative you couldn't tell what you were supposed to be seeing. I'd recommend just about anything Walt has written, but not this one. I'm hoping that I'll like his new book on Jesus much better.

Alive

"I'll sleep when I'm dead" was
the answer I gave for
all my early mornings and late nights.

"No time to shave" because
I read another chapter or
sent another letter instead of
lingering over my face.

"No day off this week" because
we are taking kids to a ballgame
and that counts as "work,"
not "rest."

I shall be resplendent
dead,
well-rested
clean-shaven
world on hold for myself.

But until then
I shall be as I am:
sipping coffee
scratching prickly cheeks
blasting through the days of this life
graciously
dizzyingly
joyfully
alive.

Back Home & Posting Again

So - it's been a while. How is everyone?

We've been in Thunder Bay, Ontario for the past week with 14 incredible youth from our churches doing a YouthWorks mission camp. I spent the week splitting wood for a Baptist church's wood-burning stove and helping around with other projects. Our kids did tons of service work for the community and really got to know each other well, since we were an extra small group. Pictures & more stories will come.

I'm preaching again - does it ever feel good! Today's sermon is posted below. Hope everyone is well - I'll post again soon!

Sermon for 6 August 2006 - "Living History"

Preaching Texts: Exodus 16.2-4, 9-16 and John 6.24-35

On Sunday the 30^th of July the Peace/Shalom Mission Trip group went to the Founders’ Museum in Thunder Bay. We spent two hours walking the grounds of a wonderful collection of 19^th century tools and artifacts and listening to lectures about the lives of the settlers, given by guides in period dress. On Wednesday the 3^rd of August, we went to Fort William, the modern re-creation of the old center of the fur trade on Lake Superior. Again, guides in period dress showed us tools, artifacts, told legends, and generally showed us what life was like in the late 17^th century in the Thunder Bay area. The kids, of course, called it “the olden days,” but they enjoyed the lectures, especially the demonstration of medical tools and practices around 1815.

These experiences, when combined with our readings from Exodus & John this morning, reminded me of our trip to Disneyland last summer. Not because Disney does such a wonderful job of period reconstruction. I was reminded of our short visit to the sourdough bread factory on the Disneyland property. Many of you know that Kristin is a fiend for sourdough bread, so we HAD to stop. But what we learned there was incredible.

This sourdough bread factory has been in continual operation for over 150 years. That’s not such an incredible thing, until you consider that they’ve moved three times in those 150 years. For most types of bread, that’s no big deal, but for sourdough bread, that’s a BIG deal. Sourdough requires a starter: a mixture of flour and other ingredients that ferments for about a day and then provides its own yeasting action. When it’s ready, you combine the starter with some other ingredients to make sourdough bread, but you also pull a bit of the starter out to ferment another day before doing the same thing all over again. Lose the starter, damage the starter, you lose the ability to make bread.

The sourdough bread factory at Disneyland is using the same starter for its entire existence. The chain is unbroken back to its original building in San Francisco in the late 1800s. The sourdough starter survived earthquakes, fires, floods, and the move from San Francisco to Anaheim to continue making sourdough loaves in Disneyland today. As we watched bakers shape, spray, slice and stack those gorgeous golden loaves, we could see a chain of history going back to a company feeding prospectors during the gold rushes. Seeing history unfold before your eyes is pretty special. We saw it in Disneyland. Our mission trip kids saw it in Thunder Bay at Fort William and the Founders’ Museum. I’m fairly certain most of you have seen something similar in your own lives as well.

Living history is a great tourist attraction. It can even be a wonderful educational experience if it is done correctly. But when I hear Jesus talking about the Bread of Life, it isn’t living history that comes to mind. It’s that starter – that small ball of flour and sugar and milk and other stuff that gets the whole process going.

We read this week that many of the 5,000 people Jesus fed in the wilderness continued to follow him. Why? Not because Jesus was a great teacher, or because Jesus was a great healer, or because Jesus was the Son of God. Jesus was, of course, all those things, but the people followed Jesus because he fed them. When Jesus came, their bellies got filled, and so they followed him. It may be that there ain’t any such thing as a free lunch, but Jesus came close, and so the crowds followed him.

What followed was a conversation for all of us. “Why did you come?” Jesus asked. “I’ll tell you: you came because you got fed for nothing. You didn’t come because of who I am – you came because your stomach told you to come. You came for the loaves – when I could be giving you the Bread of Life itself.”

The people were shocked, and so they defended themselves by reminding Jesus that they had experience with miracle bread: “Our ancestors ate manna in the wilderness – what more could we ask for?” Jesus replied, “I’ll give you the true bread from heaven, the bread that gives life to the world. I’ll give you myself – and if you come to me, you’ll never hunger or thirst for anything again.”

Now, as one who particularly enjoys filling his stomach, I can understand why the people would have followed Jesus to keep their bellies full. Reading the Exodus passage and thinking how the people of Israel were starving in the wilderness, I can sympathize with people who might starve because they have trusted God. Watching all the crying kids at Disneyland around dinnertime, I know that sometimes getting your belly filled is the only thing you’re considering. But consider what Jesus is offering: something more than just bread. And consider well what it is that you are asking of God this morning, also.

Jesus would have given the loaves again if that was all the people needed. Life continues because we feed the body, after all, and the bread of life is a bread that does, in fact, give life to those who eat it. But what would you do if someone offered you something more? What would you do if, on your visit to Disneyland, the folks at the sourdough bread factory offered you a bit of the starter loaf for yourself? How would that change your life?

The bread of life that Jesus offers isn’t just another bit of spiritual nourishment to be sliced, toasted, buttered and consumed. What Jesus offers us in himself is the yeast that fills our entire lives with his presence. What Jesus offers is a transformation that makes us all into bakers, feeding the world through the spreading of the gospel. We are not merely consumers here, people who have come to pay our money, grab a hunk of bread and a sip of wine, and go on our merry way – we are called to nourish the world around us with the very same bread of life we receive here this morning. Your life is a testimony to the bread of life that fills you, and so your call is to tend that fermenting, transforming presence of Christ within you so that the world may be fed through your life.

Keeping the sourdough starter for those 150 years is a remarkable thing, but the sheer number of loaves the factory has produced is, in my mind, the greater achievement. We are not practitioners of living history here – we are living, breathing administrators of the good news of Jesus Christ. We don’t tend the fire so that others will understand what God did in the past – we tend the fire so that others will know what God is doing NOW. Feel the transforming presence of the bread of life within you – and tend it well, so that through you God may continue to nourish the world. Amen.

100 Books - 80-76

I mentioned a while ago that I was having trouble training without a goal to motivate me. Well, now I have one: I've entered a half-marathon for September 9th in Detroit Lakes, MN. This is pretty crazy: six years ago I couldn't have typed the previous sentence, because I could never imagine running 3 miles, not to mention 13.1. Now, it's 'just' a half-marathon. Life certainly does change.

And now, on with the list.

80. Bag of Bones by Stephen King. I've often believed this was one of King's best. After reading/listening to it this spring, I've reaffirmed that belief. Bag of Bones is scary, touching, horrifying and wonderful all at once, and I really fall in love with Mike every time I read this book. I've gone back to this one three times now, and it just keeps getting better. Mike Noonan is a widowed writer trying to solve a mystery about his deceased, beloved wife, and not really getting anywhere until he moves back to their summer cabin called "Sarah Laughs."

79. Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. After watching the movie version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe last December I wanted to read something by Lewis. This series of radio talks became Lewis' 'dogmatics,' if you will; his description of the essentials of Christian life & faith. But it has more to do with understanding what a Christian is than what it is a Christian must do, and for that I'm thankful. As a theologian Lewis never lost the connection to non-academics, and as a result his writing is witty, enjoyable and thought-provoking at all levels.

78. Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card. Ahhh, back to Sci-Fi. But this is a story so much deeper! Ender Wiggin is a rare third child in an undeterminate future of earth, born to parents who were allowed to have a third child in the hopes that he might be the military genius Earth needs to destroy the Formics, an alien race that nearly wiped out humanity before being defeated. Ender is sent to Battle School at the age of 6 to be trained as Earth's next great general. I can't say more without spoiling this for you - READ THIS BOOK!

77. Speaker for the Dead by Orson Scott Card. Speaker for the Dead is the sequel to Ender's Game. Scientists on a distant planet have been tortured and killed by the pequeninos, the alien race they have been studying and with whom they have been communicating. The Speaker for the Dead is called to come and speak the death of Marcao, a sullen alcoholic whose wife has replaced one of the scientists and is keeping his research secret so that no others will die as he did. Another excellent novel by OS Card - his novels present the ethical and philosophical quandaries of scientific and religious practices as well as any fiction writer I've read.

76. Xenocide by Orson Scott Card. Xenocide is the sequel to Speaker for the Dead. Without giving away HUGE spoilers for all three, I'll just say that Lusitania, the world where pequeninos and humans have chosen to stand against humanity to save their lives, is in danger of being destroyed by the weapons that were used against the Formics thousands of years previously by Ender Wiggin.

On the last three, I'll just say that even people who don't normally enjoy science fiction should enjoy this series by Orson Scott Card. They are magnificently crafted stories that happen to be set in a future with space travel & alien relations. The value of Card's work here is the ethical, philosophical, religious and sociological questions that are raised: what does it mean to exist? Who gets to determine the right to life? At what cost do we protect ourselves? Great stuff - thought-provoking and challenging, to say the least.

100 Books - 85-81

85. Seabiscuit by Laura Hillenbrand. We listened to Seabiscuit on our vacation to the North Shore earlier this summer. We had watched the movie with our church kids just a week before and really fell in love with the story again, so of course I wanted to do the book. Kris doesn't really enjoy audiobooks but we both had fun listening to this particular book - it's well written and very, very interesting.

84. The Hammer of God by Bo Giertz. My job during my senior year of seminary was as a teaching assistant to Dr. Jim Nestingen. He recommended this book to me and to many others, and when it was announced that a new version was to be published I thought maybe I'd give it a shot. A good read for a new pastor - I wish I had read it before I started here in Barrett. I might have avoided some rookie mistakes. But then, I'm sure I would have made others. It's a good story about three generations of pastors in a small town area of Sweden, and their ministry and changes in the community over time.

83. Tolkien: A Celebration edited by Joseph Pearce. This was a collection of essays about Tolkien, his writing, etc. I'll be honest - there's nothing too remarkable here. I enjoyed the book, but can't tell you anything earth-shattering I learned as a result of reading it. Perhaps I need to read it again? One would think that as much as I enjoy Tolkien I would remember more about this book!

82. Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. What a delightful audiobook this was: read by the author in all his lilting, northern Ireland glory. Of course, the story is terrible; growing up poor in Ireland in the early 20th century was about as bad as one could get. But Frank McCourt is a charming storyteller, and you get the feeling listening to this book that he's just telling you another tale over a pint and a pipe.

81. Stationary Bike by Stephen King. A novella I picked up at audible.com a few weeks ago. An interesting theme on reality, the psyche and where the two intersect. As usual, King's descriptive characterizations take unbelievable situations and make them come alive. The main character, a commercial artist, is significantly overweight and in poor health. He buys a stationary bike, paints a landscape to avoid pedaling toward a blank wall for hours on end, and that's where the insanity begins.

So, I'm looking at this list and realizing that I listen to a LOT of audiobooks these days. But I've put a lot of time in the car this summer, I think - a 7 hour trip out to North Dakota & back can eat up a lot of words, and I've basically hijacked our other car trips this year for good audiobooks. Maybe this is why I'm having so much trouble actually reading books? At any rate, these are the latest I can remember...

100 Books - 90-86

My friend Nate celebrated the third anniversary of his ordination this week. Congrats! And it reminded me that today is the third anniversary of beginning this call in Barrett. My, how time flies. But I'll echo Nate's sentiments: I love this community. I love being a pastor. I love preaching and teaching and doing the things I'm called to do. It's a good day to think back on three years of ministry and give thanks to God for the many blessings that have come my way.

And now, on with the list:

90. Mr. X by Peter Straub. I listened to Mr. X while driving home from Newburg, ND for Kathryn's ordination this week. Not an especially good book, but it certainly helped the miles of North Dakota highway pass quickly. Beautiful country in parts, but sometimes a guy just wants a bit more variety.

89. The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower by Stephen King. I can't remember when I finished this series, but I know it was soon after all volumes were published last fall/winter. The Dark Tower was King's magnum opus, if you will, and for the most part I enjoyed it. But I don't think the Tower books rivaled his best work, more self-contained stories like It and The Stand. But hey, who's the multi-millionaire author here: me or Mr. King? The Dark Tower is the final volume in the series, in which Roland and his faithful companions finally reach the center of all existence and do battle to save all the worlds that have been or yet may be.

88. The Dark Tower VI: Song of Susannah by Stephen King. Song of Susannah was published earlier in 2005. One definitely gets to loving well-crafted characters, and Roland, Eddie, Susannah and Jake, not to mention Oy the bumbler, are some of my favorites. I've always said that King's strong point is character development - this book would be a primary example.

87. The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla by Stephen King. For all the majestic scope of the Dark Tower series, two of the volumes focus largely on short periods of time: DT IV: Wizard and Glass and DT V: Wolves of the Calla. But they remain enjoyable nonetheless. Wizard & Glass was my favorite of the entire series, but I haven't read that particular book in a few years. Wolves of the Calla was published last year and I devoured it as I devour most Stephen King stuff - now I need to read it again to find the good stuff I missed before.

86. Harry Potter VI: The Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling. I can't believe I forgot to mention this one, as it was my favorite thus far in the Harry Potter series. I really enjoy these books, and I'm glad Rowling has jump-started the desire to read among children. What I can't believe is that it's almost over; just one more volume to go. I do wish the press could avoid working so hard for the shocking spoilers: the news earlier in June that a major character, perhaps Harry, would die was a bit too, how shall I say it, Inside Edition-ish? Anyway, H-B Prince was dark, scary and definitely more mature, as it should have been, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Yes, I'm aware that I'm now listing series books independently - but I realized after I started this that the series books I tend to read are full novels and worthy of consideration on their own. Besides, it's my blog, right? :-)

100 Books - 95-91

The list continues. Incidentally, this is going to be MUCH harder than I thought. I can barely remember the last 10 books I read, not to mention the last 100.

95. American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Another cheater - I listened to this book while running over the last month or so. But I read it about five years ago. It's a great story told by an expatriate Brit who now lives and writes somewhere in Minnesota (Cities, I think?). America, it seems, is a tough place for gods to thrive - and one of them is trying to help the old gods survive an onslaught of new gods. Interesting reading for me.

94. The Solace of Leaving Early by Haven Kimmel. I think I blogged about this some time back. A story about small town people, ministry, and lots of other things, including a young minister. Can't seem to think why I might like something like that...

93. Black House by Stephen King & Peter Straub. The sequel to their earlier collaboration The Talisman, Black House is both more mature and less innocent. Jack Sawyer has grown up and forgotten much of his past, but a boy in trouble and a house with a dark secret are going to make him remember.

92. The Dark Is Rising by Susan Cooper. This is the title of both a five-book sequence and one of the books within the sequence. I read The Grey King in fourth grade when we were reading Newberry Award winners and I was HOOKED. 20 years later I still like picking this one up every few years and reading it through. It's a story of good vs. evil, obviously, but Arthurian legend and modern life get mixed together in a thoroughly gripping manner. These are stories I'll read to our kids.

91. The Gospel According to Tolkien by Ralph C. Wood. Kris gave me this for Christmas - what a neat gift! It actually piqued my interest in delving deeper into the mythopoeic stuff (one might wonder how I needed MORE motivation to read Tolkien), but unfortunately I haven't followed through on that just yet. Too busy reading other stuff I guess. :-)

How Great Thou Art

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”
John 10.10

On Wednesday I drove 400 miles into western North Dakota for my good friend Kathryn’s ordination to the ministry of word and sacrament. She chose John 10 as one of the scripture readings for the night. It was a privilege to be part of a worship service that focused so much on the abundant life that Christ gives. I felt honored to contribute some music to the night, but I felt far more honored just being present.

One of the hymns Kathryn chose was “How Great Thou Art.” Between her ordination and our service on Sunday, that’s twice in the past week I’ve sung that particular hymn. Not a really modern hymn, “How Great Thou Art.” Most people would need a moment just to translate every “thy” and “thou” into “your” and “you.” Honestly, I was surprised that Kathryn chose “How Great Thou Art” for her ordination – I wouldn’t have thought she drew life from it the way I do. But I’m only me; if Kathryn finds life in this hymn, so much the better.

When I was much younger I would play my dad’s Statler Brothers records and sing along at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I think that the main reason I love “How Great Thou Art” was because the Statler Brothers recorded a version of it. I loved the Statler Brothers. But by the time I got to the age when it became important to like what my friends liked, the Statler Brothers got put onto a shelf in my heart and buried beneath a pile of stuff meant to hide my love for music that was so wretchedly uncool. It was years before I allowed myself to unpack that hidden shelf and rediscover music that still gives me great joy.

I was in conversation with someone at that ordination who had found something she genuinely loved, something that filled her with life and love and a sense of herself as God created her. It was the kind of thing that she could have with no cost to others, no injury to a third party, nothing but gain in her own life. But it was not the life others wanted for her, and so she struggled because she loved those others, and yet to give in to their wishes would be denying something that filled her with abundant life.

There are at least two truly painful components of becoming a fully authentic, fully human follower of Christ Jesus. One is seeing and removing the strings that bind us, the strings that the world uses to pull us where it wants us to go, all with our unknowing assent. The other is realizing that we have been busily tying strings ourselves, binding our neighbors to our desires and pulling them where we want them to go. We are puppets and we are thieves, all at once, bound to jump when others say jump, and bound to look for ways to steal life from others for ourselves. This is who we are.

But Jesus offers us something different. “I will give you life,” Jesus says, “an abundant life which no one else can give.” The life Christ offers comes with no strings attached. Real Christian life is a life of unrestrained joy. Whether you find your joy in cooking, music, art, accounting, farming, writing, reading, teaching, cleaning or anything else in all creation, if it is yours with no cost to others it is a part of the abundant life that Jesus wants for you.

Frederick Buechner once said that “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet.” My friends, if “How Great Thou Art” gives you gladness, then sing it with all your heart, for the world is hungering to hear God’s name praised. Live your life abundantly, reserving no thought for what others may try to steal from you or destroy in you, and spend no time dictating joy to others who may have a different picture than your own. When Christ gives life, with all its heartbreak and passion and insanity and wonder, embrace it as the great gift that it is, love Him all the more for it, and spend it lavishly on the people and the pursuits in which you find great joy. Real, authentic Christian life awaits us: let’s enjoy it together, shall we?

In Christ’s abundant peace,
Pastor Scott

100 Books - 100-96

A friend of mine is doing a list of 100 things about her. I wasn't really into that, but I thought that maybe a list of 100 books I've read and a thought about each might be okay. Obviously one can't do 100 all at once, so I'll do it five at a time, once each day, for the next 100 days. Series books only count as one, unless they don't. I'll be going backwards through the order in which I've read, more or less. Here goes.

100. The Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan. I'm reading this series through again. Right now I'm on book 5: The Fires of Heaven. When Captive Free came to Barrett back in April one of the girls was reading book 1, The Eye of the World, and it got my interest piqued again. I enjoy the series quite a bit, even if it does get a bit predictable after a while.

99. Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog by John Grogan. Okay, simply put, this was one of the funniest, most touching books I've read. Grogan is a great writer and dog lovers like me will find themselves crying just a bit a couple of times. Great read.

98. Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. Robinson's second novel is a wonderful story of an aging, dying pastor, told through letters to his seven year-old son. Moving and peaceful all the way through.

97. A Generous Orthodoxy: Why I Am a Missional, Evangelical, Post/Protestant, Liberal/Conservative, Mystical/Poetic, Biblical, Charismatic/Contemplative, Fundamentalist/Calvinist, Anabaptist/Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Green, Incarnational, Depressed-yet-Hopeful, Emergent, Unfinished CHRISTIAN by Brian McLaren. This one is a bit of a stretch: I haven't actually finished it yet. But it's good, and I should finish it this week. McLaren identifies many aspects of a new orthodoxy that focuses on the proclamation of the gospel and the transformation of lives rather than narrowly defining who's in and who's out in the church. A thought-provoking book that I heartily recommend to anyone even remotely connected with the church of Christ.

96. Cell by Stephen King. I'm a huge Stephen King fan. This book is both good and not so good. It's formulaic. The central plot is a retread of other 'unexplained alien forces take over the world and bring about the apocalypse' King works. But there's some original stuff, too, and the book is much more lean than many other King novels. I enjoyed it, but it read a lot like a shorter, more vicious version of The Tommyknockers.

Group pic from 24th June

Here's us and our family on the weekend of the Old Settlers' Reunion here in Barrett. What a good looking bunch!

Sermon from 25 June 2006 - "Calm In The Chaos"

This was supposed to be posted two weeks ago.
It wasn't. We've been busy.
Check out the news below to see why. :-)

Preaching Text: Mark 4.35-41

Living near Barrett Lake is a precious gift that just gets wasted on Kristin and me. I don't really like to fish. We don't own a boat, and we discovered on vacation last year that we can barely navigate a canoe together. I can't swim very well, and Kristin spends more time teaching water aerobics in Alexandria than she does in the water in Barrett.

I mention all of this because I’m terrified of drowning. I grew up in Nebraska, where there's only one man-made lake big enough that you can't see the other side. In my entire life I've never been on completely open water. For me, Freddie Kruger, Norman Bates and even Dracula don't hold a candle to the terror I feel watching "The Perfect Storm."

So when I read today's gospel reading from Mark, I can identify with the disciples. Fishing in Jesus' day wasn't anything like what goes on in New England today. Fishing boats rarely left sight of land. Traveling across the Mediterranean often meant traveling around the Mediterranean. Water was the great enemy. The people of the ancient Near East thought that the formless void of chaos that existed before creation was nothing more than open water, filling the entire universe. When God created the heavens and the earth, God actually separated the waters above and below the earth. Blue sky meant that there was a canopy holding back unrestrained water, and dry land was brought up from underneath more unrestrained water. When it rained, God was actually opening the canopy of heaven to let in some water. So, venturing out where you can't see land was like leaving creation for chaos, moving from a place where God is in charge to a place where you're at the mercy of chaos and disaster can strike at any time.

Is it any wonder, then, that the disciples were afraid when a storm blew them out into chaos and started to attack their boat? Is it any wonder that they thought Jesus was abandoning them to the mercy of the waters? They were beyond anything they could handle, in the midst of chaos, and their friend and teacher thought it was a perfect time for a nap. I probably would have been screaming right along with them.

I'm going to show you a video that has something to do with water, chaos and fear. Rob Bell is the pastor of Mars Hill church in Detroit, and "Rain" is the first video in a series called Nooma. I think he illustrates what God is actually doing in moments of chaos, and perhaps why Jesus felt safe enough to sleep while His friends were screaming.

At this point I played the video. You can find it at the Nooma website.

I can't say that I blame Trace Bell for being frightened. He had no idea where his father had taken him; he only knew that he was wet and afraid and he couldn't understand what was happening. We are not so different from that infant, you and I; we find ourselves far from home many times in our lives, lost in threatening, chaotic circumstances where we are at the mercy of the storms surrounding us, and we don't have any idea when it's all going to end.

Why, then, in the midst of all of this, was Jesus sleeping? He was very definitely in danger here. Jesus was completely divine AND completely human: He could have died from drowning as easily as He died of crucifixion. But He isn't worried: He's tired, and so He sleeps, and the disciples grow more and more worried about what's happening and whether or not they are going to make it home.

That last question the disciples ask is as important during the storm as it is after the storm. "Who is this, then, that even in the midst of chaos He can calmly sleep?"

Who is Jesus? He is a Son who has complete trust in His Father, enough that He can sleep while a storm is raging all around Him. He is a Son who can be calm in the chaos, completely confident that His Father will get Him where He needs to be.

Who is Jesus? He is also a teacher who listens to His disciples. He wasn't worried about the storm, but because His disciples were afraid, He calmed their fears and changed their reality. The disciples thought Jesus didn't care that they were in danger. He did care – enough that He calmed the storm. But Jesus was never afraid of the storm itself. It wasn't that He didn't care – He just wasn't worried.

The disciples at this point were still figuring out who Jesus really was. This story comes early in Mark's gospel, when Jesus was just beginning His ministry, and so the disciples were right to wonder about Jesus. But I'm also wondering this question: if Jesus trusted His Father so completely that He could sleep in the midst of the storm, what kind of Father does He have? What kind of love can inspire such ruthless trust? What kind of faith can create such calm in the chaos?

There are people who think that God causes storms to come into our lives, that chaos comes at God's command to teach or to restrain or to prevent even greater evil. I’m not convinced this is true, any more than I think that the sea is evil simply because it is more powerful than I. God created the sea as it is, and God set it free. Psalm 104 tells us that God created Leviathan, the great sea monster, for the sport of it! God made whales as big as submarines and giant squids who patrol the ocean depths and millions of other sea creatures just as they are, and God created the seas to hold them all and let them do what they do as God intended. Storms happen; God does not make storms.

Where then, is God in the midst of chaos? If God isn't behind the storm, what is God doing? God is in the boat with us. If you want to see the face of God in the midst of chaos, look for the real presence of God in Jesus Christ, who shares the danger with us. Look for the trusting presence of Jesus, who believes that His Father will never let Him venture into chaos alone. Look for the comforting presence of Jesus, who hears our cries and stays with us for the duration of the journey. Look for the transforming presence of Jesus, who listens to the prayers of our hearts and will sometimes calm the storm simply because we ask.

You are not alone in the ship that is your life. You have a Savior with you, One who will see you safely through to the other side, One who will never leave you alone, One who will give you calm in the midst of your chaos. Look for Him daily. Trust Him completely. Love Him unreservedly. As your ship sails into open waters, rest assured that because God is in the ship with you, you will safely reach the other side. Amen.

Our wonderful, awesome, terrifying, fantastic news

Kristin and I are expecting a baby sometime around January 28th.

There - it's out. *phew* We've been keeping this news to ourselves for a few weeks now, since the first trimester is such a touch-and-go time for most pregnancies. We discovered that to our grief in March: our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at the end of the month. But so far this pregnancy seems to be going well. We had our 10 week ultrasound on Wednesday of this past week, and we actually saw the baby flailing its arms and kicking its legs. Okay, so they're 'buds,' not actually arms or legs, but hey, our baby is moving!

As you can imagine, we're excited and terrified all at the same time. Becoming parents is a step we've anticipated since we first met, but now that the day is hopefully drawing near, we're just praying God will give us all that we need to be good parents to our little one. It helps that we are surrounded by friends and family who are doing many of the things we would like to do for our kids - we can watch and learn from some good role models!

I was going to post a pic of the ultrasound, but I haven't scanned the picture yet. Hopefully I'll get that posted in a few days.

Kristin is not particularly enjoying the pregnancy. She's struggling with even more dietary issues than normal. Her gall bladder has apparently decided to go on strike in protest of the changing work environment; the least bit of greasy or fatty food sets off reactions that aren't pleasant at all. She's had a lot of nausea, but no vomiting yet. "Morning sickness" is such a lie - it's more just "sickness" in our case. AND Kris is gaining weight very quickly, which is healthy, but Kris is worried about losing it afterwards. I've told her she can marathon train with me when the baby is born, but she just throws stuff at me when I say it. I'll tell you, between dealing with nausea, diarrhea, irritability and a lack of sleep, this pregnancy has been nothing but an inconvenience for me. :-)

In other news, Kris is bound for San Antonio tomorrow with a busload of high school kids. They're going to the ELCA National Youth Gathering, and are we ever praying for a calm stomach for Kris over the next 10 days. For me, it'll be 10 days of watching the movies I like (horror & sci-fi, mostly) and wondering why the house is so quiet. I already miss my beloved and Lumpy, our impending arrival. Please pray for safe travel!

Scotty

The end of the show...*sigh*

Well, at least we ended the week with a bang. Since I last posted, I've done two weddings, three shows and now I need a nap. Lesson learned: the first thing I say when asked to officiate a wedding is "what date are you planning?"

I did enjoy the weddings this weekend. Both couples worked hard at their pre-marriage counseling and seem to understand the work it takes to build a successful marriage. When you get to the church the day of the wedding and you feel excited to join the couple together, it's a good feeling. All the same, it takes a surprising amount of energy to get through the wedding day, and I find that I really can't stay at the reception for too long following the wedding service. I would love to stay and celebrate, but something in me just needs to decompress. I never understood why pastors didn't always stay at the reception for very long - now I think I do. We wish the couple all the best, and immediately we start wondering if we did enough during our pre-marriage work to help them succeed.

Saturday night was the final show of "The Spitfire Grill." You can see pictures from this amazing production in my previous post. I've REALLY enjoyed being a part of this show and I know many of our audiences walked away feeling good about spending a night at the theatre in Barrett. If there's a community theatre where you live, support them! We work so hard to put on quality entertainment - it's wonderful when folks are appreciative of the work we do.

Prairie Wind Players was mentioned in yesterday's Minneapolis Star-Tribune in an article about theatre companies throughout the state. I can't say I was really impressed with the article - the writer made one glaring factual mistake and described our group from "tiny Barrett" as "decidedly lower key" in comparison with a summer internship program in Alexandria. Of course we're tiny - anyone driving into town can see that. Of course we don't put the same amount of work into our productions - we're a VOLUNTEER theatre company. If you're going to write an entertainment article promoting the arts statewide, it seems to me you could be just the slightest bit charitable. This is perhaps one problem living near Minneapolis/St. Paul, the arts mecca of the Midwest - 'outstate' artistic stuff often gets short shrift when compared with the Cities.

But that's what's happening in Barrett. It's sunny, I've got the morning to do some work on flowers, the lawn and our cars, and then we're going to have a short holiday with Beloved's sister & family. Life is good!

Scott