It's been a very full, busy week. Here's the F5, short and sweet.
The questions are simple, the answers unlimited. Go!
Who
Beloved Momma, aka Lumpy the Magnificent, aka My Lady Cluckington
What
Labor
When
NOW would be great. Today would be really good. Next Friday would be, umm, uncomfortable to say the least. Even though due date is not yet here, Momma's body says it's time to deliver, except she's not delivering.
Where
The Birthing Tub at our hospital. The labor room at our hospital. Anywhere but the seat of our car on the way TO said hospital. (Honey, the upholstery...)
Why
Because Momma is tired, uncomfortable and her body has been getting ready for nearly three weeks now.
Because if Momma's body gets any more ready, Daddy is afraid Baby-to-be will just fall out when labor does begin (see upholstery above).
Because Momma wants DESPERATELY to sleep on her side again.
Because Daddy is tired of sleeping in the bed all by himself.
Because Daddy is tired of sleeping, period.
Because Momma & Daddy want to learn how to change diapers.
Because both Momma & Daddy cringe every time the phone rings: if we answer, we have to tell people why Momma hasn't delivered yet, and if we don't answer, people assume that Momma is on her way to the hospital to deliver.
Because when you've waited 32 years for something, no word in any language can describe the interminable wait of the last few days.
Because Momma & Daddy have the collective patience of a tsetse fly.
Bonus: How
For this we've had many suggestions, some of which we've tried and some we have not. You get to figure out which is which:
Bumpy Roads
Spicy Mexican Food
Sex
Spicy Mexican Food followed by a hot bath.
Mowing the lawn followed by a hot bath (or, in our clime and season, driving the snowblower followed by a hot bath)
Walking on the treadmill.
Pogo sticks (Daddy might take it up just to relieve stress)
Cleaning the house
Watching "A Baby Story" until Momma cries
Life is good. Baby-to-be is healthy. We're not complaining. Okay, yes, we are, but we laugh a lot, too. Pray for us!
Oh man, I've been there. Tom Petty was right, "the waiting is the hardest part!" Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI'm pulling for that birth tub. Our Baby Factory did not have such luxuries.
Prayers for a safe delivery whenever the little one decides to make an entrance!
ReplyDeleteI remember all to well those days and nights of discomfort and waiting...although my daughter was born 10 days early and my son on his due date...but regardless those last days and weeks are arduous.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, baby will come all of a sudden. But especially with the first baby, you will probably have plenty of time to get the hospital - contractions make the whole thing seem urgent and you will feel certain baby is close, only to find out that you have a (long??) labor to go through...
Oh, and I don't think anything we do will speed up the process. My Mom was determined to have me on valentines day and tried every trick in the book, but I wasn't born until 6pm the next night. Well, I guess there is pytosin drip IV in the hosptial, but that is truly a last resort.
ALl in all, how exciting! And thank you for sharing this journey. So many of us have been on it with the fondest of memories, there really is nothing like a new born baby. The miracle of life itself. I will hold you in my prayers for these days ahead! May God grace you with patience mixed with continued excitment.
wonderful play! congratuations and prayers for the waiting and beyond!
ReplyDeleteAs the cartoon says, the month-to-month wait is hard, the week-to-week is tough, but the minute-to-minute is impossible!!
ReplyDeleteBeen there, done that!
You are all three in our prayers!
ROFL. My grandma always swore by castor oil and a buggy ride... (yeah, I'd rather go into labor than do that, too!)
ReplyDeleteprayer for a delivery at godspeed!
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May the moment come soon, but not *too* soon!
ReplyDeleteWaiting is the hardest part. Hope she gets to "enjoy" the birthing tub!
ReplyDeleteSex. Trust me.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Mags
Oh, good luck. And thanks for the insight.
ReplyDelete