Friday Five: Dental Edition

Cheesehead and I are both laid up this week with various tooth maladies. This one's in honor of us:

1. Are you a regular patron of dentists' offices? Or, do you go
a) faithfully, as long as you have insurance, or
b) every few years or so, whether you need it or not, or
c) dentist? what is this "dentist" thing you speak of?

2. Whatever became of your wisdom teeth?

3. Favorite thing to eat that's BAAAAAD for your teeth.

4. Ever had oral surgery? Commiserate with me.

5. "I'd rather have a root canal than _________________."

Bonus: Does your dentist recommend Trident?

1. I'm regular because Beloved insists, and yes, because I finally have dental insurance. I have a permanent retainer on the back of my lower incisors and let's just say that getting the plaque out of that bad boy after six years of brushing alone during college and seminary was NOT an enjoyable experience. I got to know our hygenist really well during those two (yes, two) appointments.
2. My wisdom teeth are still buried deep in my gums, thank the Lord above. I remember when my Dad had his wisdom teeth pulled and how miserable an experience it was for him - thanks, but no thanks.
3. Wow - EVERYTHING I like to eat is bad for my teeth. I suppose I'd have to pick the one I've gone the longest without enjoying: a "Gotta Have It" size German Chokolatekake from Cold Stone Creamery. Wow - I'm drooling just thinking about all that sugary, chocolatey goodness. Zer koestliche, ja?
4. Oh, yes, at age 14. My eyeteeth weren't coming down quickly enough for our orthodontist, so they went in, peeled the gums back, chipped away the bone, wrapped the teeth with wires and chained them to my braces. Of course, fool that I was, I chose the local anesthetic and nearly passed out when I saw all the blood on the first gauze pad.
5. Is this like the "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy" statement? Having never had a root canal (please God, don't let that particular creek rise), I can't compare it to anything, but I do remember the horrors of years of orthodontics and can't say anything was less enjoyable in my life. How about "I'd rather have a root canal than revisit the horrors of being a teen-age patient of an orthodontist with large, hairy fingers?"

Bonus: I don't know about my dentist, but I'm addicted to Extra Polar Ice, so it's a moot point anyway.

Ish - that's enough of that! Talk about a horror show on Friday the 13th!