On the advice of a wise friend and the cooling of my own temper, I've removed a post that was here earlier today. Suffice it to say it was a nasty piece of email from a congregation member regarding our recent purchase of new hymnals. Said email included several mis-interpretations of a number of things that have been said and done over the past year and a couple of lovely little insults about the way I've gone about being the pastor here. I originally posted it with my own response last night. I used to make sure I slept on stuff like this before posting, but I was good and mad this time and didn't really give a rip, especially considering I'll be dealing with this person for another week or so at the most.
Suffice it to say that if you've got a problem with your pastor, the second-least helpful way of dealing with it is an email that
1) attacks said pastor from the start;
2) interprets several public statements and decisions in the worst possible way (a direct violation of Luther's explanation of the 8th Commandment, for all you Lutherans keeping score at home);
3) wanders from the topic at hand into other problems that have not surfaced in your conversation with said pastor in recent memory; and
4) closes with a statement that basically invites said pastor not to let the door hit him/her in the ass on the way out.
(The least helpful way, of course, is refusing to talk to the pastor directly and complaining to several third parties instead.)
Bleccch. I've spent far too much time on this already today. I only have so much capacity for pastoral forbearance, and thankfully it got recharged with some wonderful visits to a few members in our local assisted living complex. Besides, I get to go pick up the most beautiful 11 month old in the world in a little over half an hour: that's bound to improve my day.
But the new rule stands: Never, EVER check your church email late at night!
Have peeked on your blog now and then and caught it this morning. I'm all over the "don't check your email at night (or on Friday evening for us Monday through Friday types). It's too easy for someone to fart in the elevator and leave you to stew in it all night or all weekend until a resolution can be found.
ReplyDeleteGood luck in uh, Ames. Hmmm...
Brian Fitzgerald
While I whole-heartedly support that you should not have posted communication between you and a parishioner, now I curious to know what it said.
ReplyDeleteThat is my gossipy side coming out.
Yikes, just what you needed while preparing for the Feast of Peace, eh?
ReplyDeleteAnd: oh the beloved new red hymnals... Don't get me started. Just don't...
I saw it before it was deleted, and I must say that your reaction to it was understandable, even if coventional pastoral wisdom would say not to post it publicly. But you took care of that, so whatever.
ReplyDeleteHey, we pastors are human, too. It's not always the popular thing for us to be even if everyone else seems able to get away with it.
Blessings on your move and your new position. I'm glad I found your blog the other week.
Having been congregation president while we were without a pastor, I can relate somewhat. It is amazing how the darker side of some folks comes out to play when they can confront you from the relative safety of a keybord and internet connection.
ReplyDelete