The Reading Report

For the past month, I've been trying to get into Quicksilver, a book by Neal Stephenson, which comes highly recommended from others. A few years ago, a friend gave me paperback copies of Snow Crash and The Diamond Age, cyberpunk novels I really enjoyed, so I figured that Stephenson's writing style combined with Baroque age historical fiction would be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, it's not so much fun at the moment.

I'm not sure why I'm not getting into the book at the moment. I can tell from reading it that I should enjoy this novel. The writing is crisp, the story compelling and the characters well-drawn. But I'm afraid that I'm 'just not that into' this book. After several nights of debating whether I wanted this or something else, I decided to give in and let the thing go. It happens sometimes.

One thing I do wonder is whether the attention-grabbing nature of parenting a toddler is preventing me investing the mental space necessary to enjoy a demanding novel like Quicksilver. I had a similar experience with Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell not so long ago, but this was before children and I was able to slog through a book that, in the end, was thoroughly enjoyable. So here's hoping that in a few years, I'll be able to come back and really enjoy a book that, for all my struggles, seems really enjoyable.

Until then, my Stephen King kick continues. Every now and again I feel the urge to break out some old favorites from the bookshelf and enjoy them all over again. Last week it was Dreamcatcher. Currently it's Cell. The difference between SK and other authors who've not captured my attention lately is mainly plot and characterization: King's got the ability to create compelling, sympathetic characters (which I've always claimed is his primary strength as a writer) AND keep the plot rolling along. I just don't have to work to enjoy Stephen King, and at the moment, that's a good thing.

I've finally settled into a good rhythm for morning devotional reading, too. The alarm goes off at 5:00, and by 5:10 I've settled into my chair with a cup of coffee and two books: Bread for the Day, an Augsburg Fortress book of prayers and readings from our new daily lectionary, and something a bit more theologically demanding. Currently it's Ethics by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. After this I'm going to find someone other than Bonhoeffer for a while: thankfully, I've got shelves of unread books in my office that will do.

The most enjoyable 'reading' I'm doing at the moment, however, is in the car. Orson Scott Card is, in my opinion, one of the best American writers of the last 30 years, in any genre. The Ender Quartet is an ethical journey that just happens to be set in the genre of science fiction. I'm currently listening to Children of the Mind from our local library, and even though this is at least my third time through the series, it's as enjoyable now as it was the first time. If you've never tried science fiction, you should give Ender's Game a shot - I'm willing to bet you'll at least last through the first, and it's probable that you'll be hooked for the series.

So, that's the reading update for this month. At the end of the month I'll post my 'list' for the year. Currently I've completed 22 books through various means (CD, iPod, and "good ol' reading"), the question is, will I get to 50 or not this year? Bleak House might have put that in jeopardy, taking nearly the first 90 days of the year, but only time will tell. As you were.

*SIGH* Maybe Next Year, Phil

Thursday morning was a great moment for me. My day off, and Phil Mickelson v. Tiger Woods in the first two rounds of the U.S. Open at Torrey Pines, one of Phil's favorite courses and one on which he played often as a kid. What would be more poetic than the golfer who plays (and acts) more like a regular hacker winning his first U.S. Open on a course with $42 greens fees?

Alas, it was not to be. In fact, it was downright disheartening, from the failed no-driver experiment to the hole that summed up the weekend, the 13th on Saturday, where Lefty pushed a tee shot, hacked out, laid up, and sent four wedges toward the hole before three-putting for a 9 that guaranteed he was out of the running.

Actually, this has been a fun tournament to watch, and it's not over yet. Tiger Woods has been heroic, coming back from knee surgery and gutting out an incredibly gritty performance to force a playoff tomorrow morning. Rocco Mediate, 45 and the 158th ranked player in the world, is having a lot of fun chasing his first major championship, even if it means he'll have to beat Tiger in an 18 hole playoff tomorrow. Others have played well (bravo, Lee Westwood!) and not-so-well (what the hell happened to Vijay Singh and Ernie Els? When was the last major where either of them mattered?). But those of us who are dedicated Phil Phanatics will have to wait for that elusive U.S. Open title.

But there's hope, you know. The British Open is coming up next month, and even though it's generally the tournament least well-suited to Phil's game, you never know when Brilliant Phil is going to make an appearance. And next year's U.S. Open? Bethphage Black, where Phil almost got the major monkey off his back in 2002, riding a wave of supporters the whole weekend before finishing second to Tiger in the end.

Phil is looking good these days, too - the hefty lefty is decidedly less hefty. His butt seems to have fallen right off, actually. Perhaps the errant tee shots are a result of quicker rotation due to less bulk to rotate? Whatever it is, the new look is great, Phil - keep it up.

Some might say that backing Phil is a losing proposition. Rick Reilly described watching Phil play as "watching a drunk chase a balloon on a cliff's edge." But here's the thing: those of us who love the guy love him for more than the game - we love him for the way he remembers, "Hey, I get to play golf for a living." He signs autographs. He gives time to charities. He loves his family. Want a picture of sweetness? Go to youtube and find coverage from the 2004 Masters, and wait for the final shot, with Phil holding one of his curly-haired daughters and telling her, "Daddy won!" THAT is what we love, and that is why it's tough to see things go south in a hurry like they sometimes do for our man Phil.

John Rutter: For the Beauty of the Earth

I spent yesterday afternoon out in the yard again, and will likely get some time in the park today with my girls. This time of year makes me ponder God's beneficent creation and my place in it. So, in thanks to our heavenly Father, a dedication to all fathers as we Americans celebrate Father's Day.

Uh-Oh - Second Baby Syndrome? OR Haven't We Done All This Before?

So, last Wednesday was the final ultrasound for Baby #2. I'm just now posting the pictures. Is this a sign of things to come? Hope not - and I imagine when she's a real, kicking baby as opposed to some alien looking thing on a computer monitor, things will be different.

Anyway, here she is! Everything is as it should be and where it should be, and it was quite a show. She sucked on her fingers and tried to wave at Mommy, Daddy & Grandma M while we were watching - it was precious. Still on target for the 25th of July, if not a bit ahead of that, which isn't surprising, as Kristin looks VERY pregnant these days and is even more ready not to be. Have I mentioned the awesomeness of my wife before?


In a really funny concurring development, Ainsley has taken to carrying her baby doll EVERYWHERE over the last two days. Her Uncle Kevin bought her a nice doll for Christmas, but for the most part she ignored it until just a few weeks ago. Then one day, she insisted we diaper the baby when Ainsley's own diaper was being changed. Now she takes it with her everywhere - outside, to the table to eat, all over the basement when she's playing, everywhere. We just hope she doesn't drop her little sister like she sometimes drops the baby!

Another somewhat-related note: we watched the movie Waitress last night after Ainsley was down for bed. It's a great little movie, with lots of heart. Some uncomfortable abuse issues and a remarkably talented group of actors make it a bit more than your everyday "woman with a bun in the oven having existential issues" movie. And the pies? Wow, do they look delicious. Good stuff.

Peace!
Proud Papa

Friday Five at the Beach

In honor of summer, please share your own beachy memories, plans, and
dreams with a "Beach Trip" Friday Five.

1. Ocean rocks, lake limps? Vice versa? Or "it's all beautiful in its own way"?

I’ll admit that I love both, but living in Minnesota for eight years, four and a half of which were on the lake, created a love for lakes that is hard to shake. (It’s hard to believe it was that long, even though it seems like we’ve been here in Ames quite a while) Last weekend I drove into Storm Lake, Iowa for the Western Iowa Synod Assembly and thought, “Did I turn right accidentally and wind up in Minnesota?” It felt good to be driving in a town on a lake again.

2. Year round beach living: Heaven...or the Other Place?

It could be both, actually. For me, environment is not nearly as important as the company with whom I’m sharing it. But, all things being equal? Yeah, beach living would be really, really cool.

3. Any beach plans for this summer?

The only beach plans for us this summer are next Saturday, when I’ll be running along the shore of Lake Superior for 26.2 miles before enjoying a post-marathon afternoon with friends in Duluth’s Canal Park.

4. Best beach memory ever?

You know, for a Nebraska farmer’s kid I have a lot of beach memories – isn’t that odd? I remember walking on the beach in York, Maine with my ex-wife while we vacationed with her brother and his wife, spending the day at South Beach every New Year’s for three years while in the Nebraska Marching Band, and the Cliffs of Moher (which isn’t really a beach memory, but it is the ocean and it is SO VERY COOL to remember - see the beautiful pic above). But a really, really good one is from the honeymoon Kris and I took after we were married. We were in Grand Marais, MN, and we just walked on the beach and enjoyed an afternoon in the sun, with some poetry and a really good meal at a shoreline restaurant before heading back to our cabin for the night. Just a great afternoon.

5. Fantasy beach trip?

I’d love to go back to Titusville, FL, where I did my internship in 2001-2002, and while there, stay for a few nights along Cocoa Beach. I have some wonderful memories of some really great times at Cocoa Beach, and it would be really nice to catch up with my friends at Trinity Lutheran in Titusville. This is a trip I actually hope to make sometime in the next few years, after the kids are old enough to remember it (and the almost-required addition of a few days at DisneyWorld, of course).

Bonus: Share a piece of music/poetry/film/book that expresses something about what the beach means to you.

Well, to be honest the beach doesn’t mean nearly as much to me as the sea (again, how does a farmer’s kid know these things?), but the novels Bag of Bones and Duma Key, both by Stephen King, are beach novels, and I enjoy them both tremendously. Ooooh, wait, now that I think of it, Waking Ned Devine is a great beach movie – especially the scene of the old men skinny dipping and then racing off to beat the lottery man to Ned’s house. Funny stuff, that.

Time and Priorities

As I was trying to get the Durufle video from YouTube working yesterday, I noticed that the countdown widget for Grandma's Marathon to your right was down to less than 14 days. My first response was, "Oh, shit." Second response: "Well, it's not like you haven't run the full 26.2 before, right?" Third response: "Where did all the time go?"

I entered Grandma's just after we moved to Ames. In the time since then, I've broken and repaired our treadmill twice. After the second breakdown we joined a gym and will be selling said treadmill soon (we bought it back in the days when the nearest gym was 30 miles away and winter lasted six months). So even though we've had some of the nastiest weather I've ever experienced this winter and spring, it's not as if I haven't had the opportunity to do the training required for running a marathon. Well, running a marathon well, that is.

There are a number of reasons I haven't trained as well as I would have preferred. Numero Uno on that list is the move. Putting all your stuff where you think it oughta go is difficult, frustrating and time-consuming; some of our items have moved three or four times since the three of us came to Ames. Reason the second is the child(ren). I love running, but I love being a good daddy even more, so my priorities have changed. Frankly, it's been frustrating; being with my daughter is wonderful, and the right thing for me to do, but it's hard to make that sacrifice. Helping Kristin with her pregnancy as I'm able also takes up a lot of time, and believe me when I say that in two months I'll be lucky to get out for a run at all for a while. Add in a bit of sympathy weight (it's hard NOT to eat when your life partner is noshing every chance she gets) and the lousy weather and it's not surprising that I'm going into this marathon just hoping to beat my 4:35:00 from the last time out.

This morning I tried something new. Kristin is teaching a morning water aerobics class that falls squarely, for me, on the most inconvenient morning hour possible. I like to get up at 6:00, do some devotional reading and sip a cup of coffee or two, then head out for my run at 7:00, but for this summer, that 7:00 hour is taken up with childcare while Kris goes out to make some money (which I don't oppose - we like money here). So, today was day one of the "How Freaking Early Do You Want To Run?" experiment - a 5:00 a.m. wake-up call followed by a 5:30 am run. All told, it went well, but if you'd have told me fifteen years ago that I'd be doing this I'd have either laughed in your face or punched you for a liar. Ah, how life changes.

Time and priorities - it all comes down to that, doesn't it? Do I want to stay healthy, or do I want to polish off the bag of barbecue potato chips? (Stay healthy - rats). Do I want to play with Ainsley, or do I want to dump her on Kristin so I can get my run in? Blog or Facebook? Read a book or watch Mike Roe fall into something icky on Dirty Jobs? We often think about morality as if everything were a choice between good and evil, but I'm finding more often that the choices are really between two different kinds of good (e.g. BBQ potato chips taste good vs. running builds good health and makes me feel good about myself). A few years ago my new year's resolution was to spend more time making things instead of consuming them, but it's a hard road to walk when it's so much easier (and quicker) to buy what you need/want. Sometimes good priorities come with a price that can be difficult to pay.

I ran out of time for really doing this marathon well, but for the most part that time was better spent, in ways more suited to my genuine priorities, and the cost is not so much I can't bear it. Instead of pushing myself and possibly earning an injury, I'll enjoy a long run down the Lake Superior shoreline with two good friends, which is a priority I'm happy to indulge. If you're in Duluth a week from Saturday, look for me at the finish line in Canal Park at about noon or so, and if I'm smiling, that'll be the proof that it was all time well spent.

Maurice Durufle, Ubi caritas et amor

Not the version I'd hoped to post - the one I really liked kept disappearing. But this is a good recording nonetheless...

Soul-touching Music, OR "Cue the Weepy Finale!"

Hi there. Been busy. Saw my daughter for all of about an hour in the last two days. Ergo, no blogging. Better now.

Every now and again I see a movie or hear a piece of music that makes me, well, get a little weepy behind the eyes. Sometimes it's my life circumstances, and sometimes it's just something weepy.

August Rush is definitely the latter.

It's a great movie. Lots of heart, lots of great music, and lots of great actors (Terence Howard is AWESOME, and he's only in a few scenes). Freddy Highmore delivers another solid performance as "the child who mourns and the world mourns with him." It was a curious sensation: the cynic in me knew I was being, well, manipulated, but the maudlin in me just didn't care. Yes, I cried just a little bit at the end, especially when I realized how it would end. Because that's what sappy guys like me do.

"What a [fireplace]ing nancy-boy," says my inner nose tackle, and I'm not so sure he's wrong, either. But they're both me - and I won't apologize for either.

My former colleague Erik and I both loved the musical aspect of Tolkien's creation myth from the Silmarilion (no, it's not in the movies - it's a separate book that mythopoeics like me & Erik love and most folks throw aside in disgust.). For me, there is something of God in all good music, and I think that was lurking under the surface in August Rush: there's a lot of talk about faith, hope and love, all of which I seem to remember someone mentioning in the Bible once or twice. A pox on the producers of the dvd we got from Netflix - it didn't have any "making of" special features, so the faith aspect never got addressed. But I'm sure it was there on purpose.

Anyway, good music = presence of God for me sometimes, and the video below is no exception. I'm not in the choir singing, but I wish I had been. All the same, Durufle's Ubi Caritas is one of those pieces of music that touches my soul, and if you've not heard it before, here are the 'main' lyrics:

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est.

Congregavit nos in unum Christi amor.

Exultemus, et in ipso iucundemur.

Timeamus, et amemus Deum vivum.

Et ex corde diligamus nos sincero.

Where love and charity abide, God is there.

Christ's love has gathered us into one.

Let us rejoice and be pleased in Him.

Let us fear, and let us love the living God.

And may we love each other with a sincere heart.

Amen, and amen. Peace, friends.

Tuesday Lectionary Thoughts: Proper 5A

I've started a lectionary Bible study at the Center (we meet Tuesday nights at 7:00 if you're in Ames): each week I'll share what I've put together here.

University Lutheran Center Lectionary Bible Study - Proper 5A

3 June 2008

Though Jesus was a devout Jew who practiced his faith, he was criticized for eating with tax collectors and sinners—the religiously nonobservant. Jesus criticizes the self-righteous and reminds us that mercy is to be at the heart of our religious practices. God continues to be made known in those on the margins of society, like Matthew the tax collector and the hemorrhaging woman. As we gather each Lord's day we receive the healing that makes us well and sends us forth to be signs of God's mercy for the world.

Opening Prayer: O God, the strength of those who hope in you: Be present and hear our prayers; and, because in the weakness of our mortal nature we can do nothing good without you, give us the help of your grace, so that in keeping your commandments we may please you in will and deed; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Hosea 5.15-6.6

Historic background: The prophet Hosea lived in Israel in the 8^th Century, just before Israel, the “northern kingdom” fell to the Assyrians in 721 B.C. The northern kingdom separated from Judah after the reign of David’s son Solomon, and that separation was the basis for Jewish prejudices against the Samaritans (the remnant of the northern kingdom, who worshipped at Mt. Gezirim because they couldn’t worship in Jerusalem at the Temple).

Chapters 4-11 of Hosea “contain the bulk of Hosea’s oracles against Israelite politics and cult.”[1] Worship of YHWH, the God of Israel, was suffering dilution from worship of other gods, such as the Canaanite gods El, Baal and Asherah. For Hosea, the chasing of other gods by Israel was symbolized by Hosea taking a prostitute, Gomer, as his wife. Gomer was continually unfaithful to Hosea, yet Hosea continually drew her back to her family. In the same way, God described Israel and Ephraim’s adultery with other gods who had not rescued from the hands of Egypt.

There are two voices in this reading: the first is the voice of God, speaking in 5.15 and again in 6.4ff. The second is the voice of the people, speaking in 6.1-3. Though these verses come to us together on Sunday morning, the separate voices should not fail to be noted.

Questions for discussion

1. The people seem sure that God will heal their wounds and restore them to health in 6.1-3. What was their illness? Do you think God was likely to do as they wished? Why or why not?
2. “Your love is like a morning cloud, like the dew that goes away early.” What is God saying about the love of Israel in these words?
3. Hosea 6.5-6 describe God’s harsh work through the prophets. Has anyone ever spoken devastating truth to you? Could you describe the experience for the group?
4. What would genuine repentance and redemption look like, according to this reading from Hosea?
5. [Ask your own questions here.]

Psalm 50.7-15

⁹I will not accept a calf | from your stalls,

nor goats | from your pens;

I included the Psalm specifically because of this verse. A variant translation of the first half could read, "I will accept no bull from your house." 'Nuff said. :-)

Romans 4.13-25

N.T. Wright suggests that Paul’s letter to the church in Rome is “a symphonic composition: themes are stated and developed (often in counterpoint with each other), recapitulated in different keys, anticipated in previous movements and echoed in subsequent ones.”[2] But the essential theme of Romans is God’s righteousness and the gift of faith as its conduit and guarantor to us.

In chapter 4, Paul is arguing that faith, not circumcision, works or especially God’s Law, reckons God’s righteousness unto humanity. Paul uses Abraham as the example for this argument, especially the words of Genesis 15.6: “And Abraham believed the Lord, and the Lord reckoned it to him as righteousness.”

Questions to Ponder:

1. There is a lot of stuff here. Take a minute and try to trim the “fat” from the sentences Paul used to construct his argument. Can you restate Paul’s words in simpler form?
2. Do you think Paul was being completely genuine in his description of Abraham? Is it possible that a biblical author could be tongue-in-cheek? Why or why not?
3. Abraham’s name literally means, “Father of nations.” How many children did Abraham have when he died? What might this suggest about the nature of God’s promise and Abraham’s faith? About God’s promise and your faith?
4. [Ask your own questions here.]

Matthew 9.9-13, 18-26

This pericope pulls in four stories, in which the fourth interrupts the third, so holding on to everything that’s happening can be difficult. But the focus of these verses is found in 9.12-13: “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.”

“Matthew 9.1-17 is a single unit. Matthew’s call to discipleship and the resulting dialogue and dispute at the following dinner party are all integrated into one story, forming the second half of the literary bracket begun at 8.18. The broader context makes the general meaning clear: Jesus’ authoritative word and deed generate conflict and the beginning of a new community.”[3]

Questions for Discussion:

1. What’s the issue with tax collectors? Why would Jesus calling a tax collector and dining with them be such a big deal for the Pharisees?
2. What’s the deal with Pharisees? What do you know about them?
3. Jesus said he came to call sinners, not the righteous. Is the synagogue leader a sinner? The hemorrhaging woman? The dead daughter?
4. Jesus came for the sick and the sinners: if we assume he also came for the Pharisees, what might be their illness or their sin?
5. Who are the “unclean” in your life?

---

[1] Yee, Gale A. from The New Interpreter’s Bible, Vol VII. © 1996 by Abingdon Press. p. 198.

[2] Wright, N.T., from The New Interpreter’s Bible, Vol. X. © 1996 by Abingdon Press. p. 396.

[3] M. Eugene Boring, from The New Interpreter’s Bible, Vol. VIII. © 1996 by Abingdon Press. p. 234

george carlin-stuff

Friday Five, Take Two: Summery

So, if one Friday Five is good, two must be better, right? HotCup ran this one at her place and it looked so fun I decided to play two. You know, like baseball - "Let's play two!"
1.) What first tells you that Summer is here?
The end of classes. Yeah, technically it's still spring, but when baseball practice is starting and kids aren't checking the clock every fifteen seconds for the last day of school to be over, that means summer has come, baby!

2.) Name five of your favorite distinctively Summer habits or customs.
Fire - either in the grill for cooking or in the pit for enjoying of a nice summer evening
Following the Minnesota Twins (although that's a bit harder to do here in Iowa)
Golf
Working around the house on the lawn/flowerbeds/etc. (hoping for a vegetable garden next year)
Spending time as a family on bike paths & trails (although the pregnancy is definitely limiting our time playing outside this year).

3.) What is your favorite smell of Summer?
Ooooh - tough call. Do I go with line-dried bedsheets, lilac blooms (technically Spring, but who's checking?) or meat cooking on the grill? Why not say all three? Okay - all three, plus lots of others.

4.) What is your favorite taste of Summer?
Burgers, sweet corn and homemade ice cream. Feed me that and I'll love you forever.

5.) Favorite Summer memory?
Oh, without a doubt my favorite summer memories revolve around my years at Carol Joy Holling Camp, both as a camper and as a staff member. No other summer experience has given me more joy or been more important. Even now, more than ten years after my last Fun Campfire, I'm still using skills I learned at camp and maintaining relationships from those days. Church camp ROCKS!

Well, there's the second Friday Five. Now maybe I oughta get some actual work done. :-)

Friday Five: Garage Sale!

Songbird and will smama are responsible for this week's Friday Five. I'm not much of a garage sale person, but it's a step in a different direction for the FF. So here goes:

Welcome to your irregularly scheduled Fifth Friday Five, hosted by will smama
and Songbird!Since will smama is preparing for a joint garage sale with her
parents, and Songbird's church had a Yard and Plant Sale last Saturday, we have
five enormously important questions we hope you will answer:

1) Are you a garage saler?
Umm, yes, but only for certain items. Like cheap clothes and tools, etc. I’m NOT a “go to every garage sale and grab whatever looks like a good deal even if I’ll never need it” garage saler.

2) If so, are you an immediate buyer or a risk taker who comes back later when prices are lower?
They do that? Why not price it low in the first place?

3) Seriously, if you're not a garage saler, you are probably not going to want to play this one.(That wasn't really #3.)

3) This is the real #3: What's the best treasure you've found at a yard or garage sale?
My parents found a horribly ugly chair at a garage sale my freshman year in college. Seriously, it was a block of wood covered in that ugly brown striped ‘70s upholstery – a real dog of a chair. But it was super-comfortable and I had it for nearly fifteen years. It’s now in the youth room at Peace Lutheran Church in Barrett, MN because I replaced it with my Grandpa Johnson’s recliner (also somewhat ugly, but not nearly so much).

4)If you've done one yourself, at church or at home, was it worth the effort?
I haven’t, and I don’t think I ever will, because for me it would definitely NOT be worth the effort.

5) Can you bring yourself to haggle?
Not in a million years. I have a hard time haggling over used cars, for crying out loud...

BONUS: For the true aficionado: Please discuss the impact of Ebay, Craig's List, Freecycle, etc... on the church or home yard/garage sale.
I don’t think they’ve really impacted garage sales that much. Let’s face it: when you reach the bottom line, it’s still just folks trying to get rid of their crap, and we’ve all got a LOT of CRAP. Thus the picture of my favorite comedian, George Carlin, and a quote: "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff...Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit, and your shit is stuff?"

Big Shoes Girl

Hopefully she'll be a runner earlier than I was.

Memorial Day 2008

First, some cute pictures of my kid. Because, you know, it's my blog:

I posted last about doing un-homiletical stuff upon our return from Minneapolis. Well, the urge stayed upon me all day on Monday, which led to an all-out assault on the Honey-Do list. First, I split some hostas to fill in open space around the foundation of our house:

Kris wanted to do some cleaning in the house, so I took an hour and sat outside, reading while Ainsley played in the yard. Then I moved to Ainsley's room. Kris found some blinds on sale and I've not yet cut them to fit the windows. You can see in this picture the bunch of extra slats at the bottom of the blind.

After much cursing and mangling of strings, extra blinds and plugs, I was able to get one fitted correctly:

After that, I cooked brats on the grill, we ate supper, and we watched TV after Ainsley went to sleep. All in all, an awesome day.

Speaking of awesome, a story about my wife is in order. Our next door neighbors are three college-age women. Three very attractive college-age women. These things happen, normally there's not a lot of need for comment. But in the lovely afternoon sun on Monday, one of our neighbors and her boyfriend decided to wash their cars. Ergo, she was outside in a bikini top and shorts. Being a dedicated spouse, and determined NOT to be the creepy older guy who ogles the neighbors, I paid much attention to my magazine. But when Boyfriend started spraying his car down with his thumb over the hose nozzle, I did decide to be neighborly and offer our spray header to make his job easier. Boyfriend, Blonde Cutie and I had some small talk, they oohed and aahed over Ainsley, then we went back to our work. But Kristin saw me talking with the neighbors, and poked her head out the window to say hello. Here's the awesome part. My wife's only comment later was, "Boy, got some eye-candy over there, don't we?" Funny, completely non-jealous and yet aware that while I might be 34, I'm not dead and I'm not made of stone. That's a pretty awesome combination in a spouse - I'm a blessed guy.

Festival of Homiletics: The Un-Homiletical Homecoming OR T-Minus 2 Months and Counting...

This is my final post from the Festival of Homiletics. I'm happy to say that the Big Lutheran Wrap-Up went very well - score one for the home team. Mary Hinkle Shore preached on today's passage from 1st Corinthians and had the entire assembly eating out of the palm of her hand within the first 45 seconds. Best of all, the body of the sermon was worthy of the great introduction. It was a sermon aimed at preachers, so while it probably wouldn't have flown in the congregation, I for one felt very, very edified by her proclamation.

David Lose gave a great lecture following worship. I'm pretty sure it was a short synopsis of his book Confessing Jesus Christ: Preaching in a Post-Modern World, but it was still good to hear from him. What I noted was an emphasis in his title that I hadn't understood previously: I had thought his book title was emphasizing Jesus Christ, but in actuality, his particular point of emphasis is on Confessing. His argument, which I endorse whole-heartedly, is that our preaching (and indeed, the whole life of the church) must now center itself on confession of our belief in Jesus. In the post-modern world, empirical rationalism has become quite limited, but the church, for some reason, continued to insist that her claims could be empirically proven through bigger and better arguments, making 'the case for Christ' (if I might borrow from a well-known apologetics book). Lose believes, as do I, that the church's witness is most effective when we cease our efforts at argumentative coercion and manipulation - the safe road - and simply state our faith in the boldest, most vulnerable means possible - in the same way that God once boldly, vulnerably came among us in the life of Christ. Well, at least, that's the story in a nutshell.

Between that lecture and the final worship service, I ran into an old friend from campus ministry at the University of Nebraska. Turns out he's in a call 35 miles from my hometown these days. We didn't have a chance to talk a whole lot, but it was nice to see him again, and I realized that even if the conference had been a complete bomb, meeting all these new friends and catching up with old friends would have made the time pretty special on its own.

Finally, Fred Gaiser preached a poetic interpretation of the crossing of the Red Sea for our closing worship. "Something There Is That Doesn't Love A Wall" was his title, and joining Robert Frost to the Exodus narrative Gaiser made a moving case for the end of walls between God's people. Powerful stuff, exactly what I expected from the good Dr. Gaiser. Throw in some beautiful music from Beth Nielsen Chapman and a celtic worship group from Westminster Presbyterian, and you had a lovely morning of worship. All in all, a great end to a great week.

After driving home Friday, I was all keyed up to do some stuff yesterday that involved anything but sitting. So, I took the kiddo shopping for tools, and then I

• changed the oil on the car
• sharpened the blade on the lawnmower
• changed the oil on the lawnmower
• mowed the lawn
• sprayed the weeds in our walkway
• cleaned some weeds out of some of our flowerbeds
• cleaned up the garage
• and started replacing the head on our string trimmer

So, that's how I spent yesterday's un-homiletical homecoming. Today we went to church, where I sang in the choir and did special music as well. We came home, had lunch, then the girls went down for their naps while I read the Sunday papers and watched Phil Mickelson tear up Colonial (he wound up winning on a birdie putt on the last hole. YOU DA MAN, PHIL!). After everyone got well rested, we went grocery shopping, I made pizza for supper and finally Kristin and I watched a movie after putting Ainsley down to bed.

During worship this morning, Kristin looked at her watch and noted that the due date for She-Who-Is-Yet-To-Be is two months from today. Yikes. Just thinking about it makes me excited and a bit worried all at once. I can handle one - indeed, most of the time I love taking care of our one kiddo. But two seems exponentially larger, like the complexity jumps by a factor of three or four or eight instead of one. I suppose there's nothing for it now but to just jump in and learn to sink or swim, huh? Should be a fun ride, at the least. Well, that's the word from Ames tonight. Tomorrow, it's long run and a long, hopefully sunny Memorial Day with the family. I foresee parks and grilled turkey brats in our future. Mmmmm - love me that grill.

Peace,

Scott

Festival of Homiletics: Almost Everyone Rocks, Except Me

I've had some great continuing education experiences over the past almost-five years of ministry. A week studying Bonhoeffer at Luther Seminary. A one-day seminar with Tom Long. But nothing has every been as completely rocktacular as this week's Festival of Homiletics. There's simply too much good stuff to thoroughly cover, so I'll give a brief summary.

First, the shirt experiment has been a partial success. I did wear the "Christians have the best sects" shirt to Wednesday's sessions, and because of the shirt I met Cheesehead, Grace By The Sea, RevKim and RevDave. But, like a schmo, I stumbled through my shower and dressing this morning and FORGOT TO WEAR THE JESUS SHIRT. So those who were looking for it went hungry today (cue the "stupid stupid stupid stupid" voice in my head, an all-too-familiar voice). So, the quest to meet lots of blogger pals here has only been a partial success.

I did, however, experience a rather terrifying moment when Dr. Mark Throntveit, one of my Old Testament professors, met me at the Luther Seminary reception with, "Hey, how are you? I read your blog!" Thankfully, he followed that comment with "It's good - you're actually doing theology with it." Nice to hear, especially from one whose opinion I've always trusted.

Today I got to have lunch with several Lutheran campus ministry colleagues at The Local, an Irish pub in downtown Minneapolis. Good time. And yesterday I ate lunch on Peavey Plaza with former colleagues from Minnesota while the Minnesota Orchestra played a lunchtime concert in their bandshell below. As a bonus, my friend Doug Carlsen walked by where we were standing after the concert and we got to do a quick catch-up. If you ever have the chance to hear the MN Orchestra perform, DO IT. They're great musicians and good folks, too, if Doug is any indication of the quality of their people.

Someone once described a class with Dr. Rollie Martinson as "drinking from a fire hose." Well, after Walter Brueggemann's lecture, I now have two persons for whom I think the metaphor is appropriate. WOW. I've got an entire page of notes from his lecture, and I don't generally take many notes at these things. Among the notable quotes were "Our modern pathology is marked by self-sufficiency, nihilism, autonomy and conformity," "The preacher's task is to present a case for hopeful resistance" and "well-framed people (framed by an understanding of God as a God of Exuberant Generosity and Inexhaustible Well-Being) can become protagonists in the contradiction of the world in which we live." Sheesh - no wonder my friend Justin says he has a man-crush on the guy.

Ditto Bishop Mark Hanson, who preached yesterday afternoon. Quotes: "Tranquility is not the sign of vital ministry." and "Nostalgia for an idealized past disparages the actual present." I was especially happy when the announced "coffee with the Bishop" produced several hundred ELCA pastors and preachers, enough that we were required to move from the community room to the sanctuary of Central Lutheran Church.

In that meeting Bishop Hanson talked about the filming of In God's Name and the generally positive reaction to his participation. Here's the thing I loved about the show: Bishop Hanson made us Lutherans look really, really good, the kind of folks I'd want to investigate if I were a person trying to figure out this faith and religion thing. But, as Lutherans are wont to do, Bishop Hanson's friends did have a bit of fun with this picture:


They suggested that the caption should read as follows: "Where the hell did I leave my car?" Yep, that's the kind of guy we've got in the big office in Chicago, and I'm pretty happy about it.

Bishop William Willimon also delivered the goods today. Notable quotes: "The Bible is content to let the complicated remain complicated." "Scripture is God's attempt to regain control of us." and "Preaching is training in following Jesus, not understanding Jesus." These are just the quotes I managed to write down - his lecture is one I'll be ordering on CD because it was funny and prophetic and provocative and lots of things I need to be poked on when it comes to my preaching.

Barbara Brown Taylor was also magnificent in preaching on the Great Commission, Matthew 28.16-20. She's just flat-out awesome.

In fact, thus far I've only been disappointed in one speaker, and I've heard some others who were happy with her presentation, so perhaps it was just me. I've skipped the evening sessions the last two nights because, frankly, I'm full - I can't take any more information in until I get a chance to rest and unplug for a while. So, I'm going to turn off the computer, get a Diet Coke and watch a movie with my beloved wife. Tomorrow is Lutheran Wrap-Up Day at the Festival, with Mary Hinkle Shore, David Lose and Fred Gaiser; should be a treat all around.

Peace,
Scott

Festival of Homiletics: Taxxis? We Don't Need No Steenkeeng Taxxis! OR Where the Hell is Scott This Time?

Let's call this the "Oops" post for my little trip to the Festival of Homiletics. (And let's pray it's the ONLY one, huh?) I was excited to consider the late afternoon that awaited Kristin and I. First, a brief sojourn in Taxxis, the restaurant at the Hilton Hotel in downtown Minneapolis, just a few blocks from Central Lutheran Church, where we would meet several friends from RevGalBlogPals for the first time. Then, in the same hotel, a reception for Luther Seminary Alumni, where we would see and catch up with old friends we haven't seen for a while.

Those of you who know downtown Minneapolis, and also those of you who know me and my penchant for not being particularly careful on most of the details in my life, know exactly where this is going. As it turns out, Taxxis is the restaurant at the Minneapolis HYATT, not the Minneapolis HILTON, so we were several blocks away from the RevGals&Pals get-together when we arrived in the Hilton parking garage promptly at 4:00, thereby making it into the building right when we were supposed to be there. Unfortunately, with a seven-months-pregnant wife, you don't just go tripping off on a five block jaunt and turn around and do it all over again 30 minutes later to make it to the Luther Seminary reception. So, due to my muddled understanding of where I was supposed to be, and the slightly enlarged and uncomfortable status of my beloved wife, we decided to forego the RGBP meetup and stay for the Luther reception. Which, I must add, WAS in the Hilton, thankfully, and had free beer to boot. And not just crappy domestics, either - some nice local microbrewery stuff. Doesn't make up for missing the chance to meet good friends, but it does numb the pain just a little bit. :-)

So, in the spirit of trying to meet the friends I was supposed to meet today, I'm going to try a little game tomorrow. If you're a RevGal blogger and you'd like to meet me IRL, as they say, look for the guy with a shaved head and red goatee wearing this shirt:


Pretty sure I'll be the only guy wearing that shirt at Central Lutheran tomorrow morning. See you there.

The day, other than the minor meal mishap, was very, very good. Dr. Thomas Long preached at morning worship and knocked a sermon out of the park - he preached about living water and trick questions, using the reading of the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well (John 4.5-15). After worship, Barbara Lundblad gave an inspiring lecture on preaching and racism (you shouldn't combine the two), then Anna Carter Florence gave an astonishingly good lecture on the preacher and preaching as testimony. She's rapidly becoming a favorite of mine - after one fabulous sermon and such a wonderful lecture I'm pretty sure I'll be buying a book or two pretty soon.

Tonight Walter Wangerin, Jr. spoke on storytelling and the place it has for children and the childlike imagination of an adult in crisis - moving stuff, especially considering he's fought cancer over the past few years and knows a thing or two about being in crisis as an adult. Very much enjoyed that as well. Basically, if I mention a name this week, you oughta just check them out.

So, in review:
1. It's horrifyingly easy to confuse "Hyatt" and "Hilton"
2. I'm wearing a clever orange t-shirt instead of a red hat, but the concept tomorrow is the same as "Where's Waldo" if you'd like to meet me in person.
3. People spoke well about preaching. Applause was given, and continuing education money was well-spent.

Thus endeth the day. Good night.

OOPS THE SECOND: I just realized that some of you RGBPs might not see this until after tomorrow's session. Thus, I'll be wearing this shirt on Thursday:
No, that's not me modeling it - just the dippy guy from the website. But I will be wearing that shirt on Thursday. Just so you know. As you were.

Sorry to the dippy guy in the shirt. But you just looked dippy. Maybe it's just me.

Festival of Homiletics: The Lutherans welcome you to MinnesOta...

The Festival of Homiletics is this week, in Minneapolis. Since a) lots of my favorite preachers are on the schedule and b) Minneapolis is a three hour drive from Ames, I signed up back in January. If the rest of the week is anything like the first night, we're all in for a real treat.

What really struck me tonight, however, is how LUTHERAN the thing is thus far. The first 'official' event was a concert by the National Lutheran Choir in the sanctuary of Central Lutheran Church in Minneapolis. The first thing I noticed upon arriving to register was Kristin's former colleague from the church in Alexandria. Then I met three other folks from our former conference. I noted that Mark Hanson, the ELCA Presiding Bishop is one of the worship preachers, as are two of my own homiletics professors, Mary Hinkle Shore and David Lose. Mark Sedio, the Cantor at Central Lutheran Church in downtown Minneapolis and quite possibly the best Lutheran organist in the country at present, is playing organ for most of the week. Pretty soon I realized that there were literally hundreds of my Lutheran mates in attendance, which likely would not have been the case had the festival been held in, say, Atlanta, as it will be next summer.

I know, I know - anyone coming to Minneapolis for an event like this had to expect it would have a distinctive Lutheran flair. But I didn't expect it to be so overwhelming, nor did I expect to be so pleased at the thought. It actually feels as though the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is welcoming our Protestant siblings to a conference we're hosting, even though the Festival has always been very ecumenical in nature. Well, anyway, to those of you visiting the land of the frozen chosen, welcome, and we Lutherans do hope you enjoy your stay. :-)

We were in the sanctuary of Central Lutheran Church tonight for the National Lutheran Choir concert, worship and then a lecture. The choir was incredible. Simply incredible. There just aren't words to describe how well they sang together, and how well they responded to the direction of Director David Cherwein - we're talking exquisitely managed tone, tempo and pitch, along with wonderfully artistic interpretations of some neat work. There were many highlights, but my favorite was a musical setting of ee cummings' poem i thank you God for most this amazing day:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any--lifted from the no
of all nothing--human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

The composer who wrote the piece based upon this poem used tones and chords that just shimmered like the language for which cummings is so well known. I can't remember his name just now, but I'll post more info tomorrow on it.

Anyway, that wasn't the high point of the day for me. Here's a shot of Central Lutheran's sanctuary in 1928:
It hasn't changed much since this photograph was taken. Now, imagine the room filled with thousands of preachers singing "Give To Our God Immortal Praise" Oh. My. Stars. And Garters. That was powerful beyond imagining. I just wanted to soak in the singing. And then the preaching - Anna Florence Carter preached a wonderfully poignant sermon on Mary and Martha and basically illustrated what I saw happening at our Synod Assembly this past weekend (more on that later). And to top it off, Dr. Thomas Long gave an invigorating lecture on the gospel of Mark. The man stands behind his lectern as though he were being held back from attacking his listeners by a harness - and he teaches the same way. It was great.

A thoroughly wonderful evening, and I haven't even mentioned the wonderful afternoon with friends or the great long run I had with another friend this morning. But that'll have to wait - I need to get to bed.

The Wednesday Homily: "Unreasonable God"

I recently spent a day at home, brought low by what was either an extremely short-lived stomach virus or food poisoning. I woke at my normal 6:00 AM, feeling a bit “off,” and by the time 9:00 rolled around, I was investigating breakfast and the morning coffee for the second time, in the toilet bowl. I spent the rest of the day shivering in bed and sleeping on the couch in the basement. As you can imagine, eating was pretty low on the list of priorities, and even the next day, I only ate enough to quench the light hunger pangs I was feeling, as I was anxious not to tax my stomach too seriously before it had time to recover.

The one benefit, I thought, would be losing a few of the pounds I’d been trying to drop. I’m running a marathon in late June, and my goal is to break the four hour barrier, which will be much easier if I have a few less pounds to carry around for those four hours. But it’s been a struggle. I lose a few pounds, I gain them back, and nothing seems to work. As I headed off to the gym this morning, I thought to myself, “at least two days of eating next to nothing guarantees I’ve lost some weight!”

Nothing doing. I’d actually gained three pounds since my last weigh-in on Friday.

A radio show that I catch via podcast sometimes advertises itself as presenting the “reasonable” message of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and every time I hear their announcer say it, I want to slap those good folks around, just a little bit. It’s not that I don’t like being reasonable – far from it, in fact. In a world where a father gets arrested for choosing to use his seatbelt for his beer instead of his son, where the local chapter of Jedi is attacked by a drunk pretending to be Darth Vader, reasonable is an aspiration I’m happy to hold, most of the time. The problem is that “reasonable” has its limits, and sometimes we need the power of an unreasonable God to break through everything else that is unreasonable in our lives.

In a reasonable world, a man who throws up breakfast and doesn’t eat for most of two days will lose weight. In a reasonable world, the government of a nation devastated by a cyclone would welcome the assistance of other nations, not deny it to satisfy their own paranoid delusions about power and control. In a reasonable world, executives who exploit illegal workers would be as guilty as the workers themselves, if not more so. But it becomes increasingly clear to anyone who tries to see the world with open eyes that because of our bondage to sin, we do not live in a reasonable world, though we may try with all our might to make it so. In fact, sometimes the world is so unreasonable that we don’t even have the words to describe it.

It is in the midst of all this unreasonableness that God also acts unreasonably. Scripture is filled with testimonies to the unreasonable love in which God holds the children of creation. “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb?” says the prophet Isaiah; “Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.” Hosea says, “My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender. I will not execute my fierce anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and no mortal, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath.” The Creator of all things, upon witnessing the destruction we stewards have wrought upon God’s creation and ourselves, refuses to indulge righteous anger and come in destruction and rejection. How many of us could say the same in our own relationships?

And, of course, Jesus Himself, in union with the Creator’s unreasonable love, said “Blessed are the poor in spirit… those who mourn… the meek… those who hunger and thirst for righteousness… the merciful… the pure in heart… the peacemakers… those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake… [and] blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on My account.” These are unreasonable words, to be sure, but would we expect anything else from the unreasonable Savior who proves God’s commitment by choosing death instead of rejection and forgiveness instead of domination?

Sunday will be Holy Trinity Sunday. In our churches we will celebrate the mystery of God as Three and One. We have words from God the creator and Jesus the Savior and Son of God in Scripture, but no directly attributed words of the Holy Spirit, whom we confess to be active within and among us in this time of creation. Yet Paul’s letter to the Romans ascribes one means by which the Spirit speaks: when we ourselves don’t have words to express the deep longings of our hearts. I don’t mean the longings for material wealth or rewards: I mean the spiritual longings for all that is holy, all that is righteous, all that should be reasonable in God’s creation. Sometimes being unreasonable is the only means by which what is needed is given, and, God be praised, the Spirit remains with us, the unreasonable voice of God speaking among and for God’s unreasonably sinful, broken, lost people. In an unreasonable world, the Spirit takes our groans and sighs and lifts them heavenward to the unreasonably loving Creator, who knows and hears them all. The Spirit intercedes for us, thanks be to God: It is unreasonable power for an unreasonable God, granting unreasonable access to an unreasonably blessed community. Amen.

34: The Story So Far

Last Monday was my 34th birthday. I haven't posted since, for a number of reasons, most of which have to do with sloth, to be honest. It's been an interesting experience, though, - here's what I've been up to:

On my birthday, I got lost. Knowing that I'm a runner, one of the Lutheran Center students recommended the Iowa State YMCA Outdoor Center for a good run. Was she ever right. I just went out for an easy jog and wound up deep in the woods and hoping I was following the trail back OUT of the woods. Granted, the Outdoor Center only covers a few acres, but if you get going in the wrong direction the trees do run along a valley for several miles. The good news is that I know what I'm doing for the next time: I'm going to cover Peggy's Trail, a 2.14 mile trail that is clearly marked though their land. Even with getting lost, it was a COOL run, and I'm always glad to add new routes for running.

All in all, it was a good birthday: we stayed home, had fun around the house, I got some work done organizing our stuff that needed doing, I got in an awesome 5 mile run, and had steak for supper. Life was good!

Tuesday, I got the bird. As I was leaving the Lutheran Center around 5:30 on Tuesday, a car came zooming up Gable Lane and nearly hit me. Granted, I maybe could have looked more closely, but all in all, I was glad no one actually hit anyone. Not so for the driver of the other car. Since it was a nice day, we both had our windows down, so I could clearly hear him as he raised his right fist, popped up his middle finger and shouted, "Fuck you!" Then he floored his accelerator and zoomed away.

Now, I'm normally a pretty reasonable guy. I'm willing to admit when I make mistakes. I like to think that even when I'm not at fault, I'm willing to bear the mistakes of others graciously. But for some reason, that just pissed me off. I never understood the "weaving in and out of traffic throwing things" level of road rage until that moment. My heart rate climbed, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I was MAD. "Fuck me? No, no, my friend: FUCK YOU." So, being the rational, kind, non-confrontive person I am, I promptly changed my direction and took off after him. Not recklessly, mind you, but definitely in haste. About a mile later, I pulled up behind him at a red light, and by that point I'm thinking, "What are you going to do now?" It apears the answer was "nothing," as I just turned away and headed for home. I guess I wanted the guy to realize you can't just DO stuff like that and expect to get away with it. Except that he did, and all I wound up accomplishing was getting home late for dinner. Apparently older doesn't mean wiser for me, huh?

Wednesday, I got locked out. Went out for an eight mile run in the morning, and while I was out, my beloved packed up Ainsley and went out to run some errands. I got back to the house at 10:00 and realized I couldn't get in - we haven't hidden a spare key anywhere just yet. So, since the garage was open, as was the tool shed, I spent the next 90 minutes pruning bushes, cutting 2x4s for the new shelves in the tool shed, and sweeping the garage floor, all while waiting for Kris to come home. Yeah, that was exciting. It threw off my day so badly that I missed our last Campus Ministers' meeting of the year - grrrr. The spare will be made and hidden sometime this week, trust me.

On Sunday I enjoyed my first "just a guy going to church" Sunday in nearly five years. Since campus ministry here doesn't worship on Sundays in the summer, I was free to attend worship at our congregation like any other father with his family. It was great. Ainsley stayed in the nursery, so Kris and I actually got to listen to the sermon and pay attention during the service, a first for me in a long time. Good stuff, that. In the afternoon Kris took a nice long nap (the only thing she said she wanted for Mother's Day) while Ainsley and I took a good long walk around the neighborhood. That night I tried a new meal: fajitas on the grill. Worked great, and it was so nice we even ate outside.

Yesterday? Not so nice. Woke up feeling a bit "off,"but I figured if I had a bowl of cereal and my usual cup of coffee I'd be fine. I've started a practice of devotional reading in the mornings, with Bonhoeffer's Discipleship being my first book, and I went downstairs thinking "You've got two hours to 'get right' before you go to the gym. No problem." Uhh, no - BIG problem. By 8:30 I was achy, feverish and freezing, with stomach cramps to boot. What really sucks is that Kristin had been signed up to sub for three water aerobics courses yesterday morning, and I had to call her back after only one of them, as I was in no position to properly care for a toddler. So, she had a real "Mother's Day" yesterday: entertain the child, do the laundry and basically run the house while Daddy promptly threw up breakfast and spent most of the day sleeping or watching TV. Not fun at all. Thankfully, it appears to be a 24 hour bug, if it's a bug at all - today I'm feeling much better, and no one else appears sick at all. Time will tell, I guess, but it certainly wasn't the day I thought it would be.

Well, there you have it: A Week in the Life. As you were.