Things were just peachy. Until last night and today.
AJ is a wonderful baby. We're thrilled to be parents. But today was the first day that it really hit me that I can't just hand her off to someone else when she's cranky-fussy-poopy-pissy-tired-overstimulated-justcryingbecauseshecan. She was up three times last night being fussy and not letting Beloved sleep. This morning she slept for quite a while, wouldn't wake up to be active even when we tried to get her alert, but this afternoon she's been, well, cranky, for lack of a better word. Today was my last day of full time parental leave and I feel more tired now than I did when we came home from the hospital. I honestly have no idea how Beloved is even moving at this moment; all I do is get up, change the baby, and sleep until she's done feeding and Beloved needs me to put AJ back in the bassinet.
Consequently, I'm not sure exactly how my sermon is going to go tomorrow. At this point, I'm planning on an early morning retreat to the office, supplied with some really strong coffee. I have a central idea but I'm not sure how to carry it off, and I'm praying I get enough sleep to be able to think straight tomorrow.
I know this is part of parenting. I expected this would happen. I just needed to vent for a moment. I treasure the time I've had with our newborn daughter. I just wish I could stop yawning while I'm treasuring. :-)
Believe me, anyone with kids will NOT think you're a bad parent for venting. These things happen. Somehow you'll probably get used to functioning on very little sleep, and believe it or not, someday she'll actually sleep through the night. Then you'll wonder where your little baby went!!
ReplyDelete-Christina