Hometown Run

I walk down the hill north of the house my parents have built in town.  That in itself is different.  This is not the farm where I grew up.  This is the town I've always called home, but from a different perspective.  The snotty little brother of my best friend in kindergarten built this house for my parents, built it as well as the house he built for himself across the street.  Times change.

Ten Years of Running

Chris D at The Lutheran Zephyr wrote a great blog post yesterday about getting back to running. Because of that post, I've been thinking about my own running journey, and this afternoon, during my run, I realized I've been doing this for over ten years. Ten years, and God only knows how many miles, shoes and sweat later, I'm still at it.

I was an athlete in high school, though not the running kind. I was a pretty good offensive tackle and threw the shot in track. Lifted lots of weights and even benched 300 lbs during football my senior year. But since I stopped growing at 5'11" or so, doing any kind of athletics at the University of Nebraska was out of the question - I was a few inches too short to play on the line, and far too slow to play anywhere else. Unfortunately, I kept eating like I was an athlete, and a few years later I had ballooned from 225 lbs to somewhere in the vicinity of 270 lbs. I ate, I smoked, I drank and I didn't exercise outside of the occasional church league volleyball and softball games. So, by the time I got to seminary, I was a pretty hefty boy.

Even so, I never really thought about my health all that much, and frankly, I started running because of FW. During our first year of marriage she enlisted in the Army Reserve, and we both started running; sometimes together, sometimes on our own. For me, it was pretty ugly at the start: jog a few minutes, walk a few minutes. Heart pounding, sweat coursing down my face, but at the same time, feeling really good. I didn't lose a lot of weight at first, but I started feeling better very quickly. Luther Seminary is located right next to St. Anthony Park, one of the more picturesque neighborhoods of the Minneapolis/St. Paul metro area, and I took advantage of it, developing routes that would take me past some of the most beautiful houses in the area. It was especially nice in the autumn months - running through drifts of blazing orange, red and even violet with that crisp air in my lungs made me glad to be running. Between pounding out the miles around my parents' farm that first summer while doing CPE in nearby Sioux City, IA and foraging farther and farther afield when I got back to Luther, I eventually did start losing a little weight and feeling as though I was actually someone you'd call a "runner." It was a great feeling.

When FW and I separated during my internship in Titusville, FL, running was one of the primary ways I tried to cope with the emotional turbulence of the time. I ran almost every day, cut out a lot of the awful foods I'd been eating, and the pounds just melted away. I eventually dropped to under 200 lbs for the first time since my sophomore year of high school, and people got nervous. But at the time I was probably running between 30 and 40 miles a week, which burns a LOT of calories. I was putting in some good times, too, for a former nose tackle - in those days, I RAN when I ran. When I went to California to try and make things work with FW, I ran. When things didn't work and I went back to seminary, I ran. When Beloved and I started dating and I started spending time with her and her family, I ran. When I was called to be a pastor in Barrett, MN, I ran around the lake, around town, out into the country, wherever it felt like I ought to be running. It was genuinely a part of who I was.

A few weeks after my Grandma Johnson's death in 2006, I was diagnosed with mild depression, and as a means of doing something crazy to break out of the funk, I entered the Fargo Marathon. I downloaded a training program from Runner's World and followed it pretty closely, including my 20 mile long run that I completed in four five-mile loops on an awful, rainy Saturday in early April. I ran the marathon and had a blast, finishing in 4:35. I remember thinking, "this is fun - I could totally do this in under four hours, though."

Heh - what did I know? You see this picture of me and Beloved after that first marathon? I'm smiling because I'm feeling awesome. (Okay, actually, at this point I couldn't feel my face, and I had to go get an IV about 5 minutes later because I started slurring my words and almost fell down, but I still felt AWESOME for finishing a marathon) She's smiling because she's pregnant with Ainsley, and she's going to tell me two days later, after confirming it with her doctor. Hello, new priorities: goodbye, carefree 4-milers whenever I can lace up my shoes.

As far as running goes, the last four years have been Heartbreak Hill: miserable, soul-crushing, uphill and a daunting challenge that never seems to end. It's not all due to the addition of the Sisters: my body is catching up with me, and it's been harder and harder to keep myself in running shape. Back problems, foot problems, sleep deprivation and, most of all, parental responsibilities have combined to make any kind of consistent exercise difficult to accomplish. I've swelled back up to 230 lbs, and for every run that feels great, I often have to fight through two that feel like running through quik-dry concrete. I am absolutely not complaining about being a parent here: it's just that making the right choice has had consequences about which I'm not particularly thrilled.

However, things seem to be changing of late. As Ainsley and Alanna grow older, I don't feel quite so guilty asking Beloved for time to go running. In the last month especially, as Alanna begins to learn to talk and, therefore, becomes far less exhausting to parent, we're both finding time to get out and be physical, to walk and run and mow the lawn (with a reel mower, not a motored mower) and work on the yard and do some of the things you can't do with an infant underfoot. Best of all, the girls are getting into the act. If they see me in shorts and my trusty adidas Supernovas they ask, "Are you going on a run, Daddy?" And they seem excited by the prospect. Kristin says when they see me out running on their way back from preschool or the gym, they scream with delight from their car seats. So I ask myself, "if they think I'm a runner, who am I to act otherwise?"

In 2008 I ran Grandma's Marathon in Duluth with very little training. I basically gutted out a 4:39 I had no business achieving. This year, I'm going to run the Des Moines Marathon in October, and for the first time since before Alanna was born, I'm excited to be working toward a running goal. True, things are different now than they were ten years ago, but I'm still eating miles, and whether I slog through a terrible tempo run like I did today or fly through a great easy 3-miler like I did on Monday, I'm still a runner - and I hope that ten years from now I'll be able to say the same thing again.

Grace & peace,
Scott

Friday Five: Staving Off the Gloom

Let me start by saying how much there is in my life for which I’m thankful. I have a beautiful, wonderful, incredible wife who continues to bless and surprise me in many, many ways. I am the father of two adorable girls who fill me with joy on a daily basis. Sometimes hourly, even. I’m the called pastor of a campus ministry where I feel as though the gifts God has given me for ministry are a good fit, and I get a lot of satisfaction from the work entrusted to me. And I love winter – snow, cold, ice; none of those things really bother me as much as some (and no, that’s not a judgment on those who dislike winter: I’m only saying I’m not one of them).

All that having been said, the 2009-2010 winter has been, for lack of a better word, pretty rough. Some of it I can’t share here. But between lack of sleep, lack of exercise, poor diet, lack of focus and the daily struggle to be a good father, the word for the winter is "frustrated." So this week’s Friday Five is a good one to use as an opportunity to take stock, and I hope you don’t mind if I do it with you all listening in.

From Sally, then:

Candlemas is past, and Christmas is well and truly over; here in the UK February looks set to be its usual grey and cold self. Signs of spring are yet to emerge; if like me you long for them perhaps you need ways to get through these long dark days. So lets share a few tips for a cold and rainy/ snowy day....

1. Exercise, what do you do if you can't face getting out into the cold and damp?

One thing I’ve really enjoyed this winter is our spin class. Holy cow, there’s nothing like pushing your body to the limit over the course of 45 minutes or so. Even on bad days, I still feel as though all the sweat and burning legs are worth the while, and of course it’s easy on the joints. The fact that we’ve become friends with a couple of our class leaders is nice as well, although we do keep one of them in our prayers as she begins a fight against cancer.

At the same time, I’m disappointed with myself for not running regularly, and I think it’s beginning to affect Jack as well. One of the reasons we got Jack, of course, was so I’d have a partner for my runs, but between excessive snow, schedules with the kids, lack of quality sleep and ennui due to some of the unbloggable stuff, my mileage has plummeted since August or so. I had hopes of doing a marathon this coming summer, but I need to kick it in the butt if I’m going to make that a reality. And Jack could definitely use the time outside as well.

2. Food; time to comfort eat, or time to prepare your body for the coming spring/summer?

I’ve eaten like crap this winter. Too much fast food, too many M&Ms, not enough fruits & veggies. It’s odd: when I went through the divorce, I lost my appetite completely, to the point of losing about 40-50 lbs in the course of three or four months. This time, with the emotional turmoil we’re experiencing, all I want to do is scarf down fast food burgers and pizza. What’s up with that? Here’s hoping that starting a garden this spring will bring about the dietary change I need.

3. Brainpower; do you like me need to stave off depression, if so how do you do it?

I’m not entirely sure about this, but I think the mild depression for which I’ve been taking an anti-depressant might have intensified this year, or at least this winter. Reading is a struggle, which will shock most of you who’ve known me over the years. But I just can’t focus, and I feel as though I can’t even think properly these days. I miss appointments and drop to-dos far too often. A good portion of the time I feel like a dunder-headed ninnymuggins, and that ain’t good. We'll see how things change come spring, and if they do, then maybe it's time to look into ways to handle Seasonal Affective Disorder or something like it. And, of course, if I could think more clearly there'd be more to offer here as well - so if your particular neurosis includes an affinity for what I've got to say, you could pray I get this figured out, eh?

4. How about a story that lifts your spirits, is there a book or film that you return to to stave off the gloom?

This makes me wonder – maybe it’s my reading choices that are driving my ennui? I’ve been spending a lot of time with The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman, and if he weren’t the personification of Dream, I’d say that Morpheus would be the personification of Depression instead. Perhaps I need to get away from him for a while.

We’ve been watching Friday Night Lights on DirecTV, and even though every episode is a gut-wrenching emotional roller coaster that never ceases to make us sick to our stomachs, watching Eric and Tammi Taylor manage all the stress while maintaining the absolute bedrock solidity of their marriage is truly inspiring. I said it on Facebook yesterday: the fact that this show is not in NBC’s rotation is proof positive that if their executives were any dumber they’d need to be watered once a week. (God bless you, Molly Ivins, and I can't wait to meet you in heaven - I have a feeling we'll get along fabulously.)

5. Looking forward, do you have a favourite spring flower/ is there something that says spring is here more than anything else?

I always watch for the hostas to break the surface. It happens early, of course, but I love playing in the dirt, and seeing green shooting out of last year’s stalks tells me that it’s almost time to break out my pruning shears and shovel and get ready for some fun.

Bonus; post a poem/ piece of music that points to the coming spring...

Copland captured it pretty well:

ps: Please don’t take this as a ‘woe is me’ post – reread the first paragraph if that is how this sounds. I might compare the present moment to mile 21 of a marathon: painful, slow, and filled with questions, but I continue to move forward and, most importantly, I’m trying to find the joy in the race. That second wind is bound to come along one of these days, right? Life is good, friends, because it is a gift from the Giver, with all its complexities and questions. We trust the God who gives life more than the life itself.

Grace & peace,

Scott

Process for the Exorcising* of Negative Energy and Anger

1. Drive to your gymnasium or exercise facility. If you're not a member, join.
2. Punish an elliptical machine with 5-10 minutes of furious work. You will know when the machine in question has been sufficiently punished when the people to either side of you start to look at you with concern bridging on anxiety.
3. Run three miles while watching a basketball game in which you are not personally invested (in my case, Ohio State v. Purdue. Probably not a good idea for you Buckeyes and Boilermakers).
   
4. Cover all digital displays with your sweat towel and use the monotony of the run to free your mind to mentally process the situation from which all anger and negativity arises.
   
5. While still running, arrive at a solution that seems reasonable, then develop action steps designed to bring about the desired solution.
6. If, after three miles, steps three and four have not been completed, repeat those steps as many times as necessary. Keep in mind this may take a while.
7. Immediately proceed to the sauna, allowing the heat and sweat to purge your body of any remaining toxins, including any lingering bits of anger that continue to cloud your judgment. If this step requires more than thirty minutes to complete, you may have rushed steps 3-5. If so, back to the treadmill you go. Hydrate first.
8. Shower, go to the day care area, hug your daughters, kiss your wife, go home, eat supper and enjoy a night of Bible study with three college students whose company you enjoy.
9. Blog.
10. Beer.
    

Grace & peace,
Scott

*Pun ABSOLUTELY intended.

2009: The Year in Review via RevGalBlogPals

Having left the charger to the MacBook behind while on holiday this week, I'm only four days behind on thinking about 2009 in review. Well, thinking publicly, that is. It was a crazy year, for sure.

It's not much of a stretch to say that there are times I resonate quite strongly with this song from Mary Poppins, which currently resides at the top of Alanna's Disney hit parade:



It would be lovely to live like this. But, alas, like Mr. Banks, my life is not so simple. In fact, upon reflection, the year more properly resembles this:



You know, minus the dead Nazis and such. Also, I didn't get shot. But it was definitely more crazy than predictable.

Last Friday's Friday Five at RevGals was about 2009 moving into 2010. Here's my answers.

1. What will you gladly leave behind in 2009?
Two children in diapers. Ainsley is mostly potty-trained at this point, with just nights to go, and she's doing great. I can't tell you how happy I am to be minimizing my daily contact with poo.

2. What is the biggest challenge of 2010 for you?
Living more purposefully. As any regular reader of this blog has noted, posting has become less frequent and of a lower quality, and that's been a snapshot of the year in real life as well. I make no resolutions for 2010 other than this: to live more in the place I am, in the moments around me, and to refine my use of Facebook et al so that it becomes a tool for connecting and not a crutch for living.

3. Is there anything that you simply need to hand to God and say "all will be well, for you are with me"?
Our financial situation. There's a strong possibility that Beloved's call as Family and Youth Ministry Director at our congregation will be terminated in May because right now the deficit between the 2009 budget and projected 2010 giving is so large it's impossible to ignore. We are making changes in our lives to prepare for the worst while hoping things work out for the best.

4. If you could only achieve one thing in 2010 what would it be?
Get my eating and exercise under control and weigh 200 lbs by the end of the year (I'm currently hovering between 225 and 230). Thankfully, I managed to hold off the holiday bulge, but I didn't lose anything, either. I want to be a sub-4:00 marathoner, and that's not going to happen unless I get serious about losing the weight and hitting the pavement. Plus, Jack has turned into a great running partner and I want to continue that bonding time with him.

5. Post a picture, poem or song that sums up your prayer for the year ahead....
You've seen it here before, but it's worth hearing again: "Steady On" by our favorite singers, Storyhill:



I might add that getting to a Storyhill concert in 2010 would be pretty sweet, too.

Grace & peace,
Scott

A Healthy Friday Five

Sophia had the Friday Five at RevGals today:

I just got back from an 8 mile bike ride down the beach boardwalk near our home, and was struck with the number of people out enjoying physical activity. Runners, other cyclists, surfers, swimmers, dogwalkers, little kids on scooters.... It's easy to lose track of my physical self-care in the midst of flurried preparation for a final on-campus interview Monday for a college teaching position in the Midwest (prayers welcome!) and the family move that would accompany it. But each day that I do make time to walk or ride my bike it is such a stress reliever that it is well worth the time invested! So how about you and your beautiful temple of the Holy Spirit?

1. What was your favorite sport or outdoor activity as a child?
Football - could not get enough of it. So much that our parents bought us real shoulder pads for Christmas one year. Like many boys in Nebraska, I dreamed of growing up to play for Tom Osborne. Never quite made it, but I still love football, especially Nebraska football.

2. P.E. class--heaven or the other place?
A little of both. I was a mix of the klutz who fell over a lot and got teased and the strong kid, so some days were great and some were awful. I think it's terrible that schools are cutting P.E. - we need our kids to exercise and be active, now more than ever.

3. What is your favorite form of exercise now?
Running, running and running some more. I've run two marathons and several half-marathons/20Ks, and plan to do more. In fact, just yesterday I hung up a running rack in our basement - four pegs for my running medals and various other running paraphanelia, like my first running cap in all its sweat-stained glory. (see the picture above.)

4. Do you like to work out solo or with a partner?
Yes. Beloved and I are trying to find ways for the two of us to work out together more often. We're doing a spin class on Thursdays and I think I've finally convinced her to try running with me once in a while, once we get her some proper running shoes. And I love running with our students or friends from out of town when they visit. I like my solo runs a lot, but it's also very enjoyable to share that time with others occasionally.

5. Inside or outside?
Outside when available. Frankly, the only thing I don't like about our gym is the way they manage the moisture - it's pretty humid all over the place, and the men's showers just reek, though they are fairly new. But we don't have access to weights or machines anywhere else, so inside it has to be for that.

Bonus: Post a poem, scripture passage, quotation, song, etc. regarding the body or exercise.
"The miracle isn't that I finished - the miracle is that I had the courage to start."
John "The Penguin" Bingham

A Rose By Any Other Name Would Be "OW, #%^&!"

The ongoing saga of my back continues...

A few weeks ago I actually went to our doctor to seek treatment to relieve and correct the ongoing pain in my lower back. After an exam and X-rays, it appears my L5 vertebrae is not aligned properly and is thus causing a lot of what's been going on over the past year. Chiropractic has alleviated some of the pain over that time, but the issue itself hasn't been properly addressed to this point. Consider the issue addressed now.

I've been going to physical therapy three times a week for the past week with largely positive results. Positive result number 1 was meeting my therapist and discovering that both he and a coworker are native Nebraskans and would like to add us to their list of folks for football game parties this fall. Score! :-) Positive result #2 has been the work he's helped me do. While I'm feeling a bit more regularly uncomfortable since beginning treatment, I can also feel the muscles and joints in my back working more as they're supposed to work, and that's worth the occasional discomfort. My therapist is now including my hips, knees and ankles in our work, finding ways to better stabilize my body for both day-to-day activity and, sound the hallelujahs, better running. Turns out that even though I have a neutral stride and normal to high arches, stability shoes may help me run with greater comfort than my trusted neutrals. To that end I've purchased my first pair of inserts and will soon be buying a good pair of stability shoes, as soon as I find some we can afford.

My mother has also been dealing with some back and leg pain, much different than my own, and she mentioned while our family was camping together this past weekend that her father, my Grandpa Janke, also had back problems, leading to a surgery in the last few years of his life. It's funny how the generations have changed in such a short time. I experience discomfort that keeps me from pursuing my favorite exercise (golf and running) and I get myself a specialist right away, while I'm sure my Grandpa would have said that doing such a thing was a waste of both time and money, given that I could still work and be a father to my kids without too much trouble.

One of the unfortunate side effects to America's continual success in the 20th and 21st century was the development, I believe, of a false belief in the right to a life without suffering. My generation, as a whole, hasn't known what it means to suffer for the life we have been given, certainly not to the extent of my grandparents and great-grandparents. There are miracle fixes everywhere for every problem under the sun, especially if you watch cable television between midnight and morning sunrise, all playing off the idea that work is for those who aren't smart enough to game the system. I'm sure, if I look long enough, there's a pill or apparatus pitched by a third-tier celebrity that guarantees an end to my back problems in less than 30 days (or my money back!).

Here's the thing: the only way I'm going to beat this thing is to work hard and work smart. I need to lose weight so I'm not carrying so much load on my joints (221 on the scale this morning). I need to sleep more to give my body time to recharge itself after a good workout every day. I need to diligently do the exercises my PT gives me. If I do all this, there is a good chance I'll soon be swinging my clubs pain-free, and hopefully training for my third marathon by next spring. But this only works if I accept my present limitations AND make the decision to work to change those limitations. Shortcuts won't do it, but neither will pretending it doesn't exist or just giving up the fight.

This isn't a faith thing, either: I'm God's child whether I qualify for Boston or never run another stride. But it is a peace of mind thing: to be healthy, to live a life that sees the abundant goodness of God, I'm going to have to suffer a bit. In this case, some pain does equal some gain, and I'm willing to give the one in hopes of receiving the other.

Grace & peace,
Scott

Running, Reading and Resource Fair

We got back from a wonderful weekend in Lincoln last night. I ran in a charity 10K with my brother and two of our roommates from college. The race went fairly well: I ran it in 55:14, with just one stop to say hi to my girls and catch my breath after several long hills. We also spent lots of time with my college friends and their families, including a trip to Olive Garden with 8 adults and 8 kids, church with the same group of folks and many, many brats, beers and other good eats consumed over the weekend. Pictures to come as soon as I can convince those who took them to email me copies.

I'm in a bit of a reading quandary at the moment. I read Neal Stephenson's novels and Snow Crash and The Diamond Age a few years back and loved them both. But now I've tried two of his more ambitious projects and have found both really hard to read. Quicksilver was some sort of alternate history that just seemed to wander all over the place and never really do anything, even after several hundred pages. Anathem, my latest attempt, is just flat-out bizarre; I've only read about 20 pages, but I'm already tired of flipping to the glossary to find the definition of terms again and again. It seems to me that these are both novels I should like but, for reasons unknown, I just can't get into them at the present time. If anyone out there has tried either one and found enjoyment, would you please offer any suggestions you might have?

In other news, it's Freshman Orientation month here at Iowa State, and that means Resource Fair for us campus ministry types. Today I had the pleasure of meeting several young people who seem to be very interested in campus ministry, including one young lady whose former youth director is one of the three women responsible for Kristin and me becoming Kristin and me. We've gotten seven or eight folks to sign up for our mailing list each day thus far, which is always a good sign.

But I also have some ambivalent feelings about what we do at Resource Fair. It feels like a popularity contest: each booth lines up their pictures and brochures and tchotchkes so students will remember us when they empty that gigantic bag o'crap out once they return home. We play the game, too: our pens, highlighters, brochures and a piece of chocolate make their way into as many bags as possible. Of course, I try to explain what it is we do in campus ministry and why I believe so strongly in what we do, and that part is genuine. But some of it feels like 'selling' our ministry, and I'm very leery of crossing that line, so much so that today I considered electing to skip Resource Fair next year.

It's not that I don't believe in evangelism. I'm just fairly certain there are better, less coercive means of being evangelical than handing out highlighters at the Resource Fair. What if we accidentally promise something we can't deliver - does the world need yet another disappointed, disaffected fence-sitter using our mistakes as a reason to reject faith altogether? And let's face it: even with every attempt to be as honest and forthright as possible, when we talk about our ministry in an environment like this, there's always a certain element of "Please, Like Us And Come To Our Church!" in what we say and how we say it.

I remain convinced that true evangelism comes from people whose lives have been transformed by God, and they simply must tell the story of how that happened. Do we have some of those folks in our midst at University Lutheran Center? Of course we do - and they do tell that story often. The Spirit is at work in the ministry we carry out here. I'm convinced that we are providing a necessary, important, sometimes life-saving ministry in what we do. So, with the fear that I might actually become some glad-handing, back-slapping snake-oil salesman constantly running through my mind, we'll continue to be at Resource Fair, telling the story of campus ministry as authentically as possible. But if it gets to the point where I'm trying to figure out whether 3 Musketeers or Snickers will be more likely to get students to come to worship, just shoot me, okay?

Grace & peace,
Scott

Running Report: Dam to Dam 20K, Des Moines, IA

I ran a dam 20K yesterday. [ba dump crash!]

The Dam to Dam is supposedly the largest 20 kilometer race in the country. I don't know if that's true, but there were 6,746 finishers, so you figure it's pretty big. All I know is I had a good time for being fat, slow and tired on race day.

The biggest drawback? Early start time + point-to-point course + sleeping at home Friday night = EARLY wake up call. As in 4:00. I met with our local runners group at 4:30 to pick up my race bag with timing chip and number, then drove to Des Moines with the group. We arrived at our parking ramp in downtown Des Moines and I promptly forgot my wallet in my car, so had to leave the runners group and go back. By the time I got down to street level the bus crowd was really big. I mean REALLY big. Crowds are the name of the game at Dam to Dam.

They dropped us off below Saylorville Dam at about 6:30. At this point I was thinking it would be a snap to get to a biffy, do my last 'business' before the run, lube up and get ready to go. Of course, that didn't happen. Biffy lines were long wherever you went, and they also didn't tell us that it was a walk of about a mile to the start on the Dam. So I got into line about 45 seconds before the starting gun went off, which wound up being okay since it was another seven minutes before I actually crossed the line and started the run.

It was a BEAUTIFUL day for a run. Temperature was about 60 at the start and was no higher than 73 at the finish. Light winds kept us cool as we moved off Saylorville Dam and wound through some countryside on our way into town. I can only remember four noteworthy hills, including the road over I35 where people were honking the whole time as they drove underneath us. Great day for a long run with 7,000 friends.

Personally, the day was just an endurance test. It's no secret that I've been struggling with training, my back and my weight since Alanna was born. So my only real 'goal' for this race was smart race management, as in: 1. No walk breaks; 2. Proper hydration; 3. Negative splits toward the end. I got the first two right on, but the third was just too much yesterday. I felt really good throughout the race, which indicates I hit a good pace for what was essentially a long, easy run. My feet and knees bothered me throughout, but never more than what I've become accustomed to enduring, and toward the end they weren't much of a problem at all. The only times I walked were at water stops and for one bathroom stop in mile 11. I only stopped for water twice, at mile 5 and mile 9, and I think that's about right for me. In previous distance races I've drank far too much and gotten sick at the end - yesterday, I felt just fine crossing the finish line and got some Gatorade in me right away to replenish fluids. Negative splits just didn't happen, for a couple of reasons. First, I haven't gotten enough rest lately, and the early start just sapped whatever energy I had to give from my limited sleep. Second, I'm just too heavy right now to run more than six miles at a hard pace, so by mile seven I could tell I'd just need to take it easy and grind my miles out to the finish. Third, I haven't run enough this spring, especially long runs. If I want to get faster, I'll just need to keep picking up miles until I'm back to where I was senior year of seminary. It was just tough to pick up the pace at the end - I covered mile 12 in 9:30-something, but miles 9-11 were all around 10:00. I just didn't have good speed in me yesterday.

But the course was great, the fans cheered us on and overall I was pretty happy. The post-race expo was really confusing, but I got my medal and some good food and enjoyed the post-race glow before changing my clothes and heading north to Ames. Next Saturday is going to be fun - a 10K charity race in Lincoln with college buddies. Hopefully this 20K will make next week a walk in the park - or maybe a jog.

Grace & peace,
Scott

Two (OUCH) Steps Forward, One (OUCH - DAMMIT!) Step Back

Caution: whining ahead.

This has not been a stellar physical year for me. Two episodes of severe back pain have been really difficult to overcome, even with chiropractic care and what I thought was progress in taking care of myself. And lately things just seem to be getting worse. This morning I rolled out of bed with extremely sore feet, hips and back after having done nothing but sit on my ass and drive for four hours yesterday afternoon. Okay, well, I did preach yesterday and play with the girls, but that's nothing out of the normal for me.

Going to try to make a massage appointment today. We had a great therapist in Minnesota who went and abandoned us - something about a guy she liked, and would I do the wedding - I dunno, all I remember is she left us. We miss her terribly, both for her great work and for the friendship we formed. NM, anytime you want to move to Ames, we'll help you get started again, and even find a job for RM if he has to come along. I suppose I can support your need for marriage if you can support my need for pain relief. :-)

I know, this isn't the first time I've used this space to bitch about physical problems. But damn, this gets old after a while. I like being active, and I like running/biking/lifting weights, and right now I can't and I'm more than a little frustrated/scared about it.

The UnBlogable Day

No, it's not what you might think. Today has actually been a really, really good day. But it has been so full that I haven't had time to blog about any of it, even though I've had several "that'll blog" moments, including:

• The 'full circle' lectionary study this afternoon;
• Driving with my windows down in February;
• Generous congregations continuing to rise out of nowhere to support campus ministry;
• Holy time spent in discernment with one of our students at a local coffee shop (yes, one might say we were on "holy grounds");
• A truly excellent run;
• A remarkable email I received from my ex-wife;
• The mystery of Sunday's worship service; and
• Tonight's realization that the church REALLY needs more teachers like Rob Bell.

That's just a few of the "that'll blog" moments from today. I might get to some of them this week. I might not. Right now, it's time to sip a beer, read the evening paper and find my way to bed before I fall asleep in the recliner downstairs. Good night, friends.

Cabin Fever Friday Five

Here in snow country we are settled in to what is a very long stretch of potentially boring days. The holidays are over. It is a very long time till we will get outside on a regular basis. The snow that seemed so beautiful at first is now dirty and the snow banks are piling up. Our vehicles are all the same shade of brownish grey, but if we go to the car wash our doors will freeze shut. People get grumpy. Of course, not everyone lives in a cold climate, but even in warmer places the days till springtime can get long. Help! Please give us five suggestions for combating cabin fever and staying cheerful in our monochromatic world?

Okay, here are my thoughts.
1. The best way to avoid cabin fever? GET OUT OF THE CABIN. I go running outside as often as possible, unless it's really freaking cold or I'm really freaking sick. Last night I got out for a nice five-miler in tights, shorts and two t-shirts; the exercise keeps me warm. So, get out for a walk or a run - you'll be better for it!

2. This year I'll be basking in the glow of a Cornhusker Gator Bowl victory over Clemson, the perfect finishing touch to a 9-4 season and, hopefully, the first of many more successful seasons. Thanks to the wonder of our DVR, I've got several classic Nebraska games to watch as well - which will help me survive the longest season of the year (off-season, not winter!)

3. I bake bread. Lots of bread, especially when it's Friday and I'm stuck on sermon prep. This one, unfortunately, has gone by the wayside this year due to moving/a new campus ministry/dealing with a toddler and an infant. But I still try to find time for baking when I can: it's homey, you can eat what you make, and NOTHING smells better than a mix of freshly-brewed coffee and freshly-baked bread.

4. Speaking of coffee, winter is a time to catch up on reading. Find a good book and a comfy chair at your local coffeehouse, and while away an afternoon. That's just a whole day of awesome right there.

5. Campus Ministry. Seriously, my call is invigorating, so I spend the winter looking at ways to challenge and encourage our student community. Sometimes I can incorporate many of the items listed above. Sunday morning we'll be baking communion bread; we have a book group; tomorrow we might be having a Lutheran Center group run. They don't go in much for the Nebraska football here at Iowa State, though. :-)

Well, there you have it. Oh, and I forgot sledding. LOTS of fun. :-)

Why I Posted My Weight On Facebook

Well, here's the deal. Since becoming a father twice over, the war on excess weight in my life has mostly been a retreat. True, it hasn't become an out and out bloodbath yet - I'm holding steady at the same weight over the past month. But I'm tired of just getting by and being disappointed when I look in the mirror. So, hopefully, a little public accountability will go a long way.

Before I go any further, it should be said that my sense of well-being is fine, and I do NOT find any sense of personal worth in my weight or lack thereof. I'm a child of God, and will be at whatever weight I might happen to weigh. I'm not starving myself, or taking on any unhealthy practices to lose weight. You won't find any diet drinks, fat-blasters or funky herbal concoctions in our house. Some of my friends have struggled with anorexia and/or bulimia, so you won't even find me joking about taking any harmful steps to lose weight. Healthy eating, regular exercise, plenty of sleep - that's the prescription, and hopefully my status update will show some progress over the next few months.

I have more than one reason to do this. First, I just want to be healthier, and I don't want things to get out of hand as they did in my early twenties (I think I topped out at about 270 pounds back then). Second, I'd like to get back into some of the clothes I've outgrown in the past year or so, and to feel better in the ones I'm wearing now. Third, and most importantly, I'm going to run Grandma's Marathon again this summer, and at 190, with proper training, I think I should be able to break the 4 hour barrier at last. I don't know how this will go. I love a beer or two at night, and frankly, it can be really hard to prepare healthy foods with two babies in the house. But I'm hoping this might be one more tool to bolster my discipline, and let's face it - a little transparency goes a long way.

Not too much transparency, though - you don't want to see that. :-)

You Did WHAT To Your Running Shoes?

Yeah, I put sheet metal screws in my running shoes this week. What's so weird about that?

The tip came from a Runner's World article and, from what I've heard, it's pretty common to do this if you run outdoors in a snowy clime. What I can tell you is that a) it's more complicated than it sounds, b) use sheet metal screws with a Phillips or Hex cut, not Flatheads (they're a pain in the ass to keep on the bit), and c) be sure you use 3/8" or even 1/4" screws. I used 3/8" screws and I can feel them ever so slightly on bare pavement.

Here's how it worked for me: I started with the screw pictured here:



Since my adidas Supernova Cushions have a pretty soft sole, it's really hard to just drive the screws into the sole. So, I broke out my cordless drill and drilled pilot holes for the screws wherever the sole was wearing down, since that's the part of the shoes that hits the pavement most regularly. Here are all the tools I used:

In the end, this is what it looks like:

I'm happy to say this works exceptionally well. I went for a five mile run this morning, two days after a severe storm that cancelled school in the Ames district on Friday, with no slippage problems whatsoever on the trails and sidewalks. The only time I did have trouble was the last mile, where I ran on the street and the slush was just too thick for my new shoes to get any traction. The best part? When I did hit bare pavement, I got a nice audio remembrance of my high school football days - it sounded like the metal-tipped cleats I wore when I was a nose tackle trying to gain weight instead of trying to run it off. You know, the sound from the Under Armor ads: "Click Clack - you hear me comin'?" Pretty cool.

All in all, anything that gets me out on the road at this time of year is a good thing, especially on a day like today when the snow is falling and the wind hasn't picked up yet. It was one of the prettiest runs I've enjoyed in a while.

A Fall Equinox Not-So-Friday Five

Last Friday was a pretty frantic day, with an overnight retreat and the requisite prep work added to a normally busy Friday schedule of final Sunday prep and meetings. So I neglected the Friday Five, much to my regret because it deals with the coming of autumn, my absolute favorite season. So, I'm playing today - the day before the next Friday Five play. Hey, it's my blog, right?

From Songbird, then - last week's Friday Five:

It's that time of year, at least north of the equator. The windows are still open, but the darned furnace comes on early in the morning. My husband went out for a walk after an early supper and came home in full darkness.
And yes, where we live, leaves are beginning to turn.
As this vivid season begins, tell us five favorite things about fall:

1) A fragrance
Harvest and leaves, a combination I always find intoxicating. The smell of corn and beans drying and drawing toward the reaping and leaves falling off trees. There is no way I could ever describe the combination eloquently enough, but I know it when I smell it and I savor that short time when it is all around me.

2) A color

Will this do?


3) An item of clothing
My sweatshirts. Being a naturally warm-blooded guy, I don't usually wear sweatshirts until autumn is in full swing; but when it does come, I love throwing on a good fleece as a warm, comfy insulator against crisp morning air.

4) An activity
Well, for any good Nebraska boy, autumn means football, and of course the football season is dear to my heart. But running this time of year might just be my favorite. The smells and colors are incredible here in the American Midwest from now until the trees are bare in late October. The three years I spent running in the Twin Cities (including the Chain of Lakes, pictured below) and four years running around Barrett Lake in Barrett, MN were wonderful.


5) A special day


Again, not specifically an autumn memory, but marching from Westbrook Music Building to Memorial Stadium in 1992 for my first game as a member of the Cornhusker Marching Band was pretty special. If this were a picture of the 1992 band, I'd have been in the front row, second from the left. Good times. :-)